About a year & a half ago i got this crazy memory that I basically had no clue existed but my mind convinced me it did. I talked with family and i knew in my heart that I didn’t do it. Recently a couple days ago the thought is back and i feel like I’ve done it. Im struggling so badly.

Yess exactly it’s so cruel i keep thinking i hurt someone but I don’t understand how it would just pop up

@t03 It is the nature of the cruel disorder. I always have thoughts that what if I touched someone inappropriately...then the thoughts escalate and get bigger and I get more entrenched then come to the conclusion that I am such a horrible person. My obsession is about telling some old people my jntrusive thought I had about their grandaughter when i shared a bed with her whilst I was on holiday. She was like a daughter to me but this thought came out of nowhere! I was so worried in case in my sleep I had put my leg on her and then what if my front bit touched her! It is quite funny writing it down and they even said to me ar the time that they worried like that when they looked after a friends little girl...they understood about my disorder and read up about it and even called me saying they never realised how much I had been suffering....I was so grateful for them for reading up about it as no one had ever done that BUT now they have fallen out with me over Covid I have this obsession that their help and support at the time wasnt genuine! I have had all sorts of thoughts and think they think I am an awful person but it is just so irrational.....they were the only people at the time to come round all the time and get me out of the house. I know i need to let this go and move on but OCD will find a way in no matter what. I am doing erp but it is so hard when you actually believe the thoughts! I had NEVER ever thought this about them until Covid!

@lou47 Literally same the “memory” that im thinking of could’ve happened in 2017 or 2018 but it just seems really weird that i know in my heart that I didn’t do it but i only started thinking about it once covid came around i think it’s because i had much more time to be lost in my thoughts.

@t03 Oh my goodness......this Covid has affected soooooo many people in more ways than ever could be imagined. I am very open about my intrusive thoughts and this one some people have laughed which actually helps me! Its not that you know you havent done anything wrong......that is completely true....it is the fact that your brain cant seem to believe you! Your subconcious is the equivalent to an eight year old and just seems these false emotions as 'proof' but we know deep down that these are thoughts and nothing else... Our brain makes us think they are real when in actual fact we would NEVER EVER do what the thoughts try and convince us of. I think it all bores down to the core thought that we think we are 'bad'. We cant see them as just thoughts.....we see them as real until we can prove they arent. If covid hadnt happened there is no way I would have had this obsession. I was getting so sick and tired of these old people forever talking about Covid and nothing else it got in my nerves. I am on my own yet they made me feel like a leper....then i asked them why they werent bothering with me so much and they said it was because of my views on covid I had put on fb. They said some pretty horrible things to me about it and said that people were calling them to say have you seen what i had put on fb now about it?!!!! I honestly didnt put a lot about it on fb but i was entitled to my opinions. I think the covid has sent them round the bend and they dont speak to me anymore but did say about other people falling out because of covid and actually wishing they got it and died.. Charming! I think the lady has dementia as she isnt with it anymore so that probably had a lot to do with it. Covid has really really sent peoples mental health spiralling. I hope you are ok. I am always here to chat. We have to try and laugh at this ocd as it is so irrational x

@lou47 Ohhh my goodness yes covid has been too much on my mental illness aswell. Im trying my hardest to laugh it off but i jjst end up crying instead 😭. I think my problem is that i spend all day asking myself “did it really happen?” 24/7.

@t03 I completely get that.......it is the uncertainty of it all. Today i thought that in the future if i got another obsession what would i think of this one?! All off my other obsessions were so debilitating at the time and i felt exactly the same as i do now.....so basically i am realising it is an illness and that is all.