- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I think mine got triggered but went dormant for years when I was younger and figured out my aunt is and I asked her. She just confirmed that she was she didn’t go into any inappropriate detail. And I remember my mom picking me up and me asking my mom if I was gonna end up like my aunt and she said no just because she is doesn’t mean you are that’s not how that works and that’s it. There’s no shaming no anything like that. But I was terrified that I would turn into her I didn’t identify with her as I wasn’t like oh so other people are like that I wasn’t like that at all. But I was little you know all you need is your mommy to say no that’s not how it works and you’re good and years later just got sugar I’m scared I said the girls are not hot or delicious I went to college and I went through shit I didn’t experiment I didn’t want to but I’m scared I started to notice stuff and I had those thoughts and then they went away again when my ex-boyfriend came in to the picture but that didn’t work out and I was fine with it then a couple years later at Cal State LA like an actual college instead of just community not a community college isn’t an actual college but that’s beside the point. And I’ve been struggling with it ever since I’m scared I don’t wanna notice how women are they’re not attractive I’ve never thought of them like that I’m so sorry I hope I didn’t sugar you. I’ve been posting on here a lot because I’m really freaked out by my reactions and I thought I saw your post and I was like oh I feel bad I kind of understand what you’re going through even though I’m not exactly the same
Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story. It was a negative thing in my family which also is why I’m scared it’s denial.
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
I started having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality when I got into a relationship with my ex and I wondered if it would seemingly go away but it hasn’t and I find myself ruminating about it constantly especially before or during my period. Has anyone else felt with this?
As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻
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