How can I tell if the attraction I've had for girls my entire life is true attraction and not something I was just conditioned into feeling?

I think reassurance question! Has it any importance why you feel attracted? You felt it! If you were happy, there's no importance in why!

But just because It felt nice( I dont even think thats true anymore) dosent mean it was true.

@Imaan7 Exactly. That's why I'm so nervous lol. But with all the girls I felt really attracted to, it felt right. They felt right for me. I could envision myself having a future with them. And these visions made me happy. I was always excited to see them and talk to them. But like you said, and like the question I pose, could it all have been because of what I was conditioned to feel growing up? That's what's tricky

@RandomRob11 Atleast you were able to envision a future with them, I wasnt able to, I never even talked girls or had a single close female friend. My attraction was only from far away. I had trouble picturing myself with them too which I why I think my attraction to them wasnt real but it depresses me so hard bc I always wanted to fall in love with a girl but Im afraid It was just bc i was conditioned to believe in

@Imaan7 How long have you had SO-OCD?

@RandomRob11 Started In may 2020, may have had symptoms as early as January 2020 though

@Imaan7 Who cares if it's true or not! If you are happy (because it felt nice) there are no problems! And also, I would love to tell you that if you want something, you can have it even if feelings make you feel the opposite. I had rocd, i still struggle sometimes, but at first I was destroyed. I was soo sad that I stopped seeing my friends, going out of my room or my bed. But I wanted to stay with my boyfriend, even if my rocd feelings told me to RUN. I stared therapy! Now it is really better (I still have a lot of things to learn tho). I understood that if you are happy; enjoy the moment; enjoy whatever you are doing without asking nothing to yourself. Do what make you happy, without ruminating, without trying to understand if this is what you really want, or not. That will make your real feelings go away only anxiety stay! Surely anyone is different! But for me that was the key of biggest part of situation! I'm sure you will find something that works for you!!! Sorry for my English, I'm an Italian girl haha

Have you suffered from OCD in the past? Or just anxiety in general?

I dont think so, I might have had ocd like traits growing up. Ive experienced anxiety before although back then i didnt know what that feeling was.