PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

Does anyone else here focus on their partner’s body’s flaws ?

Relationship OCD

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

Yes. It sucks! I love and adore my guy! And I pick the poor guy apart and the annoying thing is is that I feel funny describing the total opposite of him because my guys like leaner you know? And I feel funny thinking and I called him positive things but I don’t like big muscular over to find guys I never have I like the dorky guys I like Lean. I’m scared because sometimes I feel funny I don’t wanna go for a bit different body types you know what I mean? And when I look I don’t like it I just want my guy so I totally understand where you’re coming from

PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

Yeah I’m the same, my boyfriend is a lean dork and I love that about him , never been a fan of too much muscle either. It just sucks it feels like I don’t find him attractive or I think he’s “gross”

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@PinkLotus Totally understand

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 I hate this that I’m blowing up your comments With my worthlessnes. I’m scared I just I acted excited over I don’t want big breast from a gala like I was looking at pictures from a movie event by passing the guys and I acted perky and excited and I said oh yeah I don’t I don’t wanna be like that it’s not hell yeah I’m scared at how are you I feel perky my chest I don’t want to feel that I’m scared I acted interested in my my eyebrows went up I don’t want it it’s not why did I feel that jolt in my chest I don’t want to change I’m scared I don’t wanna feel better saying hell yeah I don’t just I don’t prefer big heavy I don’t trust anything I’m scared I’m not losing interest in my guy I don’t like big boulder boobs and I’m not bisexual why did I ask weird like that like like hell it’s not hell yeah I don’t like that I don’t fall for that at all why did I feel a jolt I don’t want does interest and I don’t have an interest white what street person says don’t want this interest that they don’t have but why did I act like that I’m scared I smile and I’m scared the joke was intense like I don’t it’s just anything I don’t like you prefer girls at all so why did I act like that of the big round have you that I exactly the physically I don’t like I don’t know I don’t like boobs I don’t like the big round heavy ones why did I act like that I don’t like any kind

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 I tried to look at that I said big I don’t want them to be hot or sexy and I’m scared I acted eager of the same pictures from this movie of it I’m scared I acted like I was really looking forward to it I’m scared I said I don’t care why did I feel weird why did I see you either I don’t want to I don’t like big tits I don’t like I’m scared I don’t like the I’m scared to do I don’t trust anything I don’t like female anatomy i’m scared I seriously do I don’t like the ground heavy boobs I’m scared everything‘s changing I don’t want to change I’m scared of how he got it I’m scared him I’m scared I really I don’t want insecure I keep really I don’t want to want I don’t know I don’t want and I don’t know no I can’t stop imagining big boulder once I’m scared I don’t like I’m just gonna do I don’t like tits or where they are located on the dresser I don’t like heavy ones I can’t be over my guys firm lean pecs I don’t like both sexes and I I need help

PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 No need to apologize, listen right now you’re engaging in rumination which is a compulsion and is making your thoughts fuzzy and hard to understand. Your thoughts are not reality, take a break from them and try to do something that’ll distract you at least for a little while

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@PinkLotus Ok. I had another one but I’ll try I know I hate this so much. But thank you for understanding I’ll try I’m gonna try to go to sleep actually

PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 Trust me there’s no thinking or thought that will make you feel secure in what you want. Try to get some rest :)

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 I genuinely don’t love This and I keep feeling really weird and I don’t know if it’s happy I don’t know it’s bubbling in my stomach like but I don’t I said I’ve never know I’ve never love this I’m scared been lying to myself and everyone but I’ve never why do I keep adding not I’ve never love this

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 I wasn’t gonna come back to this thread because I was really feeling guilty for bugging you again but I keep saying not compulsively and I’m not gay though I always like boys so why did I say no it is it’s not not it is boys that I like not I said the opposing they are the opposing sex I don’t understand why I made a face like it’s gross and said not and I’m scared this makes the other thoughts true but I can’t stop why am I making a face I only like boys and I feel like my throat is tight and I can’t breathe why do I keep saying not I do when we like boys and I’m scared to be like but I’m not lying I’m scared I am I’m not I’m not like why did I say not it is MEN

PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

@Bookworm91 Trust me that the thoughts you’re having right now aren’t any different than the thoughts you had yesterday or the day before. They’re meaningless and being thrown at you to cause you intense anxiety and fear. It doesn’t matter what you thought or whether or not you smiled or felt funny, anxiety can manifest in many different ways

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

@PinkLotus Thank you. I just got back from my mom blatantly making fun of me and acting like she wasn’t. Then proceeded to tell me to take the stick out of my ass

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y

@Horoz Hopefully it does for you! Proud of you for practicing erp, hang in there

britbrit

Date posted: 23w

Obsession - Secretly A Toxic Partner

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts where they feel like they’re secretly toxic to their partner without realizing? So much so that they fear their partner wants to leave them? I’ve been having a bad flare up lately since I switched meds and it truly makes me feel like I’m an awful or toxic partner. I love my boyfriend endlessly and I want to be a great partner for him, I just get scared that I am actually being terrible to them. I used to constantly say sorry but now it’s in my own head most of the time.

clair_m88

Date posted: 23w

Help :( ROCD & object permanence

Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺

Relationship OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 20w

Does anyone else have thoughts like these?

Judgy thoughts. I constantly have thoughts criticizing my boyfriend. Some of these are based on insecurities like our height difference, him being shorter than me. It just feels like I always have these negative thoughts and feelings and I always feel like I need to tell my boyfriend. I **know** they’re hurtful but I feel like I’m being dishonest or something if I don’t say something. Why do I constantly want to point out his shortness or if he has a smell that may not be too pleasant (completely human, nothing foul). Why can’t I ever keep it to myself. I used to be able to because I think the normal thing is to notice and move on. I don’t understand why I just can’t or why these thoughts are so persistent. Like I’m constant looking for a flaw. It’s so draining and I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for him apart from confusing and hurtful :( I love him

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Does anyone else here focus on their partner’s body’s flaws ?

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