I am having a hard time with thoughts of urgency regarding my sexual orientation. I am going to a ceremony today and I feel this overwhelming kind of godly inspired anxiety where I think I have too air out my business in regards to the struggles I’ve been having with my sexuality and Hocd. I have told most of my family that I am bi sexual now & most of my friends basically everyone short of a Facebook post with having done barely anything with a man before. In fact I told them all before I ever even experimented sexually. So I wake up in the morning and feel like called by god to air out my business later even though I don’t want too. And than I get this anxiety and back n forth in my mind that if I don’t step up and share everything that’s going on with me I am living in fear etc which very well might be the case and that than if I don’t in like dialing myself. But the sharing of the fact that I’m having a hard time accepting myself whether it be HOCD or bisexuality seems never ending I have come out of the proverbial closet like a bunch of times now and I keep becoming obsessive and getting in this mental loop with myself that is just CRAZY. Like if I just open up to a person about it one more time it will go away or I will overcome it. Maybe that is my form of reassurance seeking who knows. I was talking to a lady about this and she asked me why the need to air out your business to everyone all the time and I stated that I feel like when it comes to things that bother me I can compare it to like jumping off a cliff. I either run full spread ahead and screaming full of fear and just off the cliff or I run around in the opposite direction. Why does everything have to feel like I’m either jumping off the cliff or running away from it, there has to be some middle ground. I would hope that my whole life doesent have to operate from that level of intensity and anxiety when it comes to how I feel about things, how I deal with them, and how I operate with the world. My obsessions seem to just switch depending on what’s going on but if there is nothing going on externally that I can latch on too it seems my sexuality is the baseline from which my obsessions and fears will manifest/operate. Before when I was in a relationship I would operate from the baseline of doubting my relationship

i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time

I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.