Feeling triggered because someone on the NOCD app Literallt just said the reason I think my SOOCD is ocd is because I’m brainwashed into thinking that. Can someone talk me through this I am so angry

Thank you!!!

@run99 I feel like a pathetic stalker but I would really appreciate your opinion. I hope your day is going better

@Bookworm91 You’re not pathetic or a stalker. What’s up?

@run99 Admittedly I was stupid taking a flexeril to go to sleep but I’ve had a really long hard exhausting day at the restaurant I work at. And I woke up kind of decently you know went to the restroom went back to my bed trying to catch some sleep and I ended up arguing with myself and I was like I don’t like big round boobs or any other kind. But then I forgot how it turned into it but I said my heart but my heart is never been attracted to both sex is just men and like my guy is when he’s like the farthest thing from nasty and I’m scared I don’t like how chili I’m saying maybe and I don’t want that to be I hate when people say oh that’s part of life I don’t wanna get over my guy I’m not attracted both sexes my heart has always only been into guys so for me to say my heart does scares me because my heart doesn’t like women does not like both sexes. And then I saw cartoon of a woman and I’m scared I smiled and throbbed slightly down there and I smiled and I like “went with it“ and I checked myself granted nothing happened down there apparently like it was nothing. And I’m not trying to be graphic or go into super detail but I’m scared that I could just smile or smirk like a guy and “go with it“ does that mean those thoughts are true and I said does I was gonna say does that mean my by sexuality thoughts are but I don’t have any bisexuality I don’t want to change and I’m scared I don’t like big round boobs. And the fear that guys don’t possess the ability to love or think is playing on my SO-OCD I’m scared I do I don’t want traffic cones or boulders I don’t want anything hanging my face like that but I make faces like geyser when they’re not nasty in my heart has this is never been a heart thing. It’s always been a head thing. And I can’t stop making these gestures with my hands but I don’t want to squeeze boobs! And I keep making faces like I don’t I like guys and I keep smiling and going in and out like one minute I like I don’t ever really like boobs I don’t know but I don’t also don’t know why I smirk as though when I don’t like boobs I’ve never I said not I’ve never liked them I’m sorry. I don’t want to change and I’m scared that’s exactly what’s happening I don’t want women and I don’t wanna lose it for my guy because he’s fucking gorgeous I don’t I said maybe not I know he’s the guy for me I don’t really want to go into details about it and despite me to constantly talking but I’m frightened I’m not reacting enough to him and these other thoughts of scaring me I keep shaking my head and a negative. Saying stuff my my heart is attracted Amena both sexes so is my body only men so it’s like for me to have a thought saying my heart does scares me because my heart doesn’t like both sexes and I’m scared of this bullshit! I hate this boob crap there’s nothing more that I don’t like then this other shit and I don’t want my guy to go away so to speak you know like head and heart kind of thing

@Bookworm91 No I can’t stop making faces as though I don’t but I’ve always like pectorals and I’m just kind of spiraling and I hate it because I started off the morning sort of decently and it’s only like barely not even 11 in the morning and it’s already shitty

@Bookworm91 A lot of what you’re experiencing sounds like things I experience and it is groinal response from SOOCD. Try and focus on your values right now. You are not alone. You said it yourself. You don’t like boobs. That’s that!

@run99 I’ll try. Thank you for listening ❤️

@Bookworm91 Of course

@run99 Hi. I don’t mean to take advantage but I’ve had a really really bad moment involving my Mom and I need someone to talk to bad 🥺

@Bookworm91 Sorry I was at work what happened

@run99 It happened 3-4 hours ago