- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
If people really won’t leave you alone for Christmas presents, I is usually just tell people for a pair of socks, something that they don’t need to go out of there way to get I suppose. And I’ve always seen insomnia as anytime you’re having a lot of sleep disturbances that cause you to sleep less. I’d definitely count what you’re going through as insomnia
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t want anything at all. Nothing. I know I’ve posted about real event ocd before and I think you’ve commented a couple times so maybe you know what’s bothering me but I’m consumed with so much guilt and regret because a mistake I made a few years ago and it didn’t cross my mind at the time. I’m trying to be positive like oh you were younger and you didn’t know what you were doing yada yada but then it feels like I’m just making excuses. I wish I could go back so bad. But anyways ok that’s what I thought. It definitely seems to be insomnia. The reason why I’m thinking it is, is because I told a friend of mine this morning about how I haven’t been sleeping good and then he asked if I had insomnia so. Definitely makes sense
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ I struggle A LOT with real event, mostly a lot of gross things I did when I was younger and even recently on my time on dating apps when I was 18. I know how you feel, it’s awful, but one thing I’ve learned from refusing to let other get me a gift is that it makes that feeling of guilt or stress that you put on them worse. So I just try and accept the bare minimum because refusing might make things worse. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I have read about your real event on one of your posts. I understand how painful it is, but you’re not like that anymore, all your posts show you’re not. I hope you’re able to get better sleep
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver I never had any bad intentions. Ever. I was just stupid. I should have known. But it doesn’t do any good to dwell on it I guess. It just hurts.
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver Thank you I’m gonna try. I’m tired so maybe I will be able too
- Date posted
- 3y
I do the same thing I’m up till 3 to 5 and get up round 2 to 3 so my bf works seconds shifts to be on this schedule I try really hard to get on a normal schedule but I just can’t but I like going to the store when there’s noone there cause it’s so late and there’s no ppl driveing round I like that bout this schedule I do have kids though they live wit my mom cause when mt husband left me I couldn’t handle me ocd and the kids by myself so I miss alot of stuff wit them cause I’m in bed but if they have stuff in the evening I go to them.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve never met someone that does this to I wasn’t always like this I’ve been like this for a few years though I always feel really sick in the morning when I get up early the sun lite the way it looks and feels no matter the amount of time I was in bed it’s always made me nauseas feeling my entire life but now that it’s getting darker earlier it makes me depressed that I can’t get up and be ready in time to go outside to do stuff in the daylite it’s dark by like 5 o’clock here it’s very hard on me and makes me feel very shitty bout myself I beat myself up bout it all the time if I was just normal I could get up I’m worthless I suck at life all kinds of stuff.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 14w
I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression
- Date posted
- 14w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now it’s gotten really out of hand and I don’t know how to do it anymore. It’s surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasn’t myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasn’t good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that I’m off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I can’t move on. I can’t do anything without thinking about all of these memories. I’m obsessed. I’ve started hating myself again, so much so that it’s hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasn’t even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I can’t stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. I’ve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I can’t remember, and that my mind just can’t deal with it. And that’s why I feel so guilty. There’s nothing to really support this though. But I’m starting to really convince myself that’s true. I’m trying not to listen to it, because I’ve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and haven’t remembered when I absolutely didn’t and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check there’s no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldn’t listen. But it’s hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I don’t remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I don’t remember? I don’t feel like this all the time. But it’s a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. I’ve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I don’t know. I don’t really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
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