Pls help.:: Soooo my bf and I took a break 2 weeks ago cuz I kept accusing him and being crazy. And he needed me to stop. He cried and everything to me. I took that break (it was a week) to focus on me and feel good alone in case he decided to leave me for good. So he didn't & we got back together. It's been 2 weeks and it's been good and I been good. Tonight tho we had a small minor occurrence, he unfollowed this girl next to me and then I noticed he re followed her and so I asked him if he was sure he did it and he got mad at me. I didn't tell him I saw it cuz that woulda caused more stuff. This was on me for going back to that toxic behavior. Clearly I didn't learn too much. It turned into a hugeeee thing and he practically said the same thing that he is afraid to leave me because he doesn't feel like I'm stable and that I'd lose my job and apartment and all of that. He thought of leaving me but didn't cuz he loves me and all these things. In the end he just said I don't even wanna talk about it I'm just gonna have to deal with this, I'm a sucker and u just walk all over me. And that my ocd was ruining our relationship & he should've left me a long time ago. Some background for the last 2 1/2 years we were on&off exclusive but not OFFICIAL and he was fucking up constantly talking to girls and hooking up with them! (We been dating officially seriously committed for a year and he hasn't messed up once) but my point is I didn't give up on him cuz I knew he had some issues and he got better and I gave him that chance. He hasn't fully given me a chance and now knowing he just expects the worst from me and is afraid to leave me makes me more worried now. Like what if I get better and he still leaves or he just will end up being with me even tho he just feels scared to leave? Like wth. I'm so confused and upset and he's asleep so I can't even figure it out. We are such an amazing couple but these issues have arouse a lot and it has to do with me not behaving this way. When I say he changed, mean he CHANGED SO MUCH. He is such a different man and amazing to me and I never wanna lose him but I also don't want him with me for the wrong reasons, being he's just scared I won't be ok.

Relationship OCD

alltheocd

Date posted: 4y

This is a rough place for both of you to be in. :-/ are you receiving any treatment for your ocd now? Also sounds like you may have some codependent dynamics going on.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I know. I feel so awful cuz I love him with my whole heart and have wanted no one but him and fought for him so I just need to fight for myself harder honestly. I want to be the best for him. And myself too. And I finished my sessions for ocd but I do have rough days still but I do still need just long term therapy for my anxiety. Also I wouldn’t say codependent as we have a lot of separation and talk all the time but we can go hours without talking and live our own lives and feel peace. We don’t hangout constantly either and have our weekends together. But I do feel like we only have each other this way so we really hold ourselves high up on the ladder of ppl we love

alltheocd

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous I'm not a therapist, so I can't diagnose you as codependent, I'd just recommend talking to a therapist about it. Codependency doesn't necessarily manifest itself as needing to spend every moment together, things that sounded troubling to me where his statement about feeling like if he left you would fall apart and your statement just now about only having each other. But just my $.0002. :)

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