I’m scared you guys. I don’t want this to be a possibility and I almost said that I am but I’m not really prepared for. Can sexual orientation change? I don’t want to switch or add a team! 🥺 I’m scared I don’t want to I know it’s part of life but I don’t wanna fall out of love with my guy. Definitely don’t wanna add girls to the team I felt funny saying that but I really don’t wanna do it. I wake up arguing with myself which is unfortunately normal but what scares me right now is that I was trying to say guy/guys I’m scared I see these phrases right and that’s one of them. I’m trying to feel better saying but I don’t want women/men I don’t I don’t want women. And yet I’m afraid and I feel better I don’t want to be bisexual but if I’m straight why would I feel better saying that one I don’t wanna I’m scared I don’t want women. I’m scared I feel better saying that and I feel worse leaving them out and I don’t understand what that means! I don’t want women I want guys/men And yet I almost started to get anxious in my palm starting to sweat leaving them out I don’t trust anything and I feel confused I don’t want women! I’m scared and I’m scared I’m so tired I said so what I don’t wanna start liking women I don’t like their parts. And yet my throat closes no I’m leaving them out and I’m simply must be I’m tired and I feel like giving up at and can’t stop I don’t wanna lose my feelings for my guy and I don’t wanna have any I don’t like women’s parts I don’t have any for women they’re not simply anything boobs are not lovely. So I don’t understand how come I feel worse excluding them and I’m afraid of how I felt including I don’t want it I don’t want to feel better saying that I’m sorry I can’t breathe. I don’t don’t want women sexually I don’t want women in any kind of way. I don’t want women! Yeah I’m scared I do I choke up when I expose them I don’t want girls I don’t want to feel it better saying it like it doesn’t I don’t know if it feels right but it’s like for some reason I just have this really strong urge to say it and I said it in my head but I don’t want girls if I’m straight why would I say that in my head? I’m fine I am I don’t wanna look at girls differently I don’t want to see them in my head naked and feel different I don’t want to look at them different I don’t want to change. It almost feels wrong to say no I’m scared I am now I’m not resisting for anything I’m scared it almost why would I feel wrong if I’m straight?! And there’s no if I’m not attractive I’m not interested I’m not I can’t breathe I’m so sorry. I’m not and I don’t understand why would I feel better adding I don’t want women

I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.

I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd