- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I am definitely no expert but I have suffered from ROCD tons. I have dated my partner for 7 years. We have a super healthy relationship but as we got closer to getting engaged I started having more obsessions and ROCD thoughts. It was so scary! I have been in therapy working on this. The other thing that helped me was being open and honest with my partner about my obsession theme (while being mindful about not using this honesty to perform compulsions, such as divulging my thoughts to him as a way to relieve anxiety). He has a good understanding of what OCD is so he was able to hear what I was going through without feeling threatened by my thoughts. This has brought me a lot of comfort and support. I would suggest talking to your therapist about how to manage this with your partner in mind!
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. Toughts really affect your feelings! If you keep testing yourself; it will only get worse! I was in the same place some times ago and this lead me to apathy, sadness and guilty feelings!! But remember that things will get really better once you understand how to treat those thoughts/emotions! Now I feel everything again! And it is beautiful!!
- Date posted
- 3y
But how do I get out of this…? I’m stuck… 😞 Why is it only random that I get happy and know I love him? It’s constantly with theses feelings… whenever he mentions sex I get anxiety and I feel like I don’t want it.. everything feels forced. I’ve never felt this way for him… I want it to be consistent that I know I love him and I want to be able to touch him without feeling like I am forcing of faking it… 😞 it’s like 11 years have never happened and it’s driving me nuts… bc deep down I know I love and wanna stay but it’s everyday with this… I freaking hate it… 😞 there are times I can show affection with feeling fake but why can’t I be that way all the time… sorry I am just really sad…
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 I know that feeling. Here we all know. You are not alone, and you can get out of this, always remember it. I'm not a psychologist; or a therapist. You should talk to one of them, they surely can understand your situation and help you better!! Anyway, talking from experience, I think it is really personal! You should give yourself some time to try different methods, and find the one that works better for you! Erp works really well usually, cbt too, there are some apps that help you to have positive thinking or better habits... really there are a lot of opportunities!! For me was a "combo" of everything... at first I started to talk with a psychologist, that helped me to understand a lot of bad habits (mental too; like ruminations, rationalising, etc) and than I started to heal all those things!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 A lot of people get their rocd worse when the relationship start to be more serious... maby it is also your case! I learned also that rocd strikes only on what it is really important for you! Try to avoid every compulsion! (All those actions that make you feel better for a little time; for me was telling my bf my doubts). Don't be scared about feeling less or nothing. It doesn't means NOTHING. Just be happy (for now) that some times you feel in love!! That is beautiful! I would also suggest to explain to your bf what rocd is! In that way he wouldn't misunderstand your behaviour for something else, and then you can fight it togheter!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa I know I need help… I just miss knowing if I truly love him… 😞 it’s like I don’t know… then when I have moments where I do know I am really happy like last night he made homemade French toast and I hugged him and everything. Even told him I love him. I know getting help is the only true way I can learn to deal with this.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Getting myself into a spiral trying to figure out if I actually am in love with my boyfriend. Have I just been pretending? How do I know I ACTUALLY love him and not just the idea of him or his love and affection? It just feels like this pressing and intense question lately. I know I can’t solve it by ruminating bc I have been in the same themes for almost 2 years and have never gotten closer to “figuring them out”. Just so hard to stop trying to figure out if I actually love him or not today.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?
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