Can obsessing about the samething over and over again make you believe and feel like it’s true? Especially if you obsessed about it for over a year…. Like I obsessed and tested myself about loving my partner… now I get strange sensations and started to believe I don’t love my partner… but I have moments where I know I love him. Clarity moments.

Yes. Toughts really affect your feelings! If you keep testing yourself; it will only get worse! I was in the same place some times ago and this lead me to apathy, sadness and guilty feelings!! But remember that things will get really better once you understand how to treat those thoughts/emotions! Now I feel everything again! And it is beautiful!!

But how do I get out of this…? I’m stuck… 😞 Why is it only random that I get happy and know I love him? It’s constantly with theses feelings… whenever he mentions sex I get anxiety and I feel like I don’t want it.. everything feels forced. I’ve never felt this way for him… I want it to be consistent that I know I love him and I want to be able to touch him without feeling like I am forcing of faking it… 😞 it’s like 11 years have never happened and it’s driving me nuts… bc deep down I know I love and wanna stay but it’s everyday with this… I freaking hate it… 😞 there are times I can show affection with feeling fake but why can’t I be that way all the time… sorry I am just really sad…

@Mandy7710 I know that feeling. Here we all know. You are not alone, and you can get out of this, always remember it. I'm not a psychologist; or a therapist. You should talk to one of them, they surely can understand your situation and help you better!! Anyway, talking from experience, I think it is really personal! You should give yourself some time to try different methods, and find the one that works better for you! Erp works really well usually, cbt too, there are some apps that help you to have positive thinking or better habits... really there are a lot of opportunities!! For me was a "combo" of everything... at first I started to talk with a psychologist, that helped me to understand a lot of bad habits (mental too; like ruminations, rationalising, etc) and than I started to heal all those things!

@Mandy7710 A lot of people get their rocd worse when the relationship start to be more serious... maby it is also your case! I learned also that rocd strikes only on what it is really important for you! Try to avoid every compulsion! (All those actions that make you feel better for a little time; for me was telling my bf my doubts). Don't be scared about feeling less or nothing. It doesn't means NOTHING. Just be happy (for now) that some times you feel in love!! That is beautiful! I would also suggest to explain to your bf what rocd is! In that way he wouldn't misunderstand your behaviour for something else, and then you can fight it togheter!

@Saraa I know I need help… I just miss knowing if I truly love him… 😞 it’s like I don’t know… then when I have moments where I do know I am really happy like last night he made homemade French toast and I hugged him and everything. Even told him I love him. I know getting help is the only true way I can learn to deal with this.