Okay I know that I probably shouldn't ask this, but how do I really know that it's HOCD (and that I'm not just confused or so)? I've always been only into boys, but now I for like 1.5 years I just can't stop thinking about possibly being lesbian. I had these same thought 3 years ago but then I met this amazing guy, but we stopped talking and later these thoughts came back. I'vr always wanted biological kids and to marry a guy etc, but now I'm so scared that that won't happen if I turn out to be gay. And then on the other hand I'm scared that I'm not actually scared, what if I'm just "faking" it to lie to myself? I can't even look at my best friend anymore without thinking about kissing her and so on - these thoughts used to freak me out but not that much anymore? What if I actully like it? Sometimes thinking about guys I feel weird and my thoughts change to girls, and then I get anxious again. Idk, I don't wanna talk about this with anyone because I'm scared that if I do, I'll realize that I'm in fact gay. Idk what to do, I just want this to stop.

Sexual Orientation OCD

745

Date posted: 4y

I get intrusive thoughts of faking it and lying to myself all the time. Your not alone...

Anonymous8809

Date posted: 4y

I too was afraid I’d find out I’m gay if I talked to someone. The fact that you are so distressed with the doubt you might be is a good indication you aren’t. It is very difficult but you may eventually need to get to a point where you tell yourself, I might be or I might not be. Once I was able to say that to myself I started to feel a reduction in my suffering and it happened quickly. You probably need to try erp and start off small then go bigger with your triggers.

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