- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I have ROCD and exposures I’ve done is thinking and repeating out loud one of my intrusive thoughts as I look at a picture of my partner. I also watch romantic movies or shows as ERPS. I watch videos of couples giving advice on how you know you’re with the right person. All of that triggers me. But again your ERP tools and triggers could be totally different than mine and it’s not one size fits all. this is just telling you what I’ve done. Hope this helps :)
- Date posted
- 3y
The best way to do it, is think about what makes you feel the worst towards your relationship or what scares you the most, and do it. Over and over. If saying out loud." I don't really love her" gets you feeling bad or panicky, say it till it bites you.
- Date posted
- 3y
I listen to a song called true to myself by Ziggy Marley which always gets me and do something similar to tarot cards where I ask if questions like, am I lying to myself? Am I in the right relationship? Do I really love her? And regardless of the answers I get, I pick another with the same question, until the answer doesn't affect me much anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
Have either of you looked into Michael Greenberg’s method of Rumination Focused ERP?
- Date posted
- 3y
I have not, do tell.
- Date posted
- 3y
There is a lot digest. He has a lot of resources on his website that I have found valuable. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com
- Date posted
- 3y
Go to the articles tab and you will find everything
- Date posted
- 3y
Let me know what you think
- Date posted
- 3y
I shall, thank you man.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Specifically how can my fiance best support me without offering reassurance? I'm trying to encourage myself to grow and keep trying ERP, but I'm not sure how I can include my partner in a healthy way. I plan on talking to my therapist about it soon, but I wanted to hear thoughts from people who have been dealing with it themselves.
- Date posted
- 21w
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 20w
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
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