I have POCD and it continuously gets worse. I have been having nightmares by about the worst possible scenarios, in existence. Extreme harm to innocent children. It's absolutely awful and I cannot escape it. And from the bodily no responses I am still so unsure if it is anxiety screaming at me...or something else.
Even if I did not have OCD and this was true, it would hurt me to ever harm a child or anyone innocent. Child abuse is the most upsetting thing to me. For me it seems any research on POCD from the outside world is very limited. And I mean very limited. Many who do not have this terrible variant of OCD cannot understand the extreme weight of it on the people who suffer in silence.
I just do not know what to do anymore. I wanna be good and I want to be myself but OCD or whatever this is seems to suck it all away.