I’m trying to be in a good mood but it’s so hard when in the back of my mind, I’m reminded constantly of the mistakes I’ve made. I just want to be free. I hate myself so much

I would forgive a friend or family member in a heart beat but I can’t seem to forgive myself. I feel like the mistakes I’ve made were too bad to be forgiven. I never hurt anyone but because I was young and stupid and unwillingly did it but it was on purpose makes it so much harder to forgive. Hopefully that make sense. I’ve posted about it before and I’ve been told to let it go but I can’t

@Just Breathe ❤️ It’s not just about letting go, it’s about acceptance and moving through it. Accept that you made mistakes. I don’t think forgiveness of yourself is what you need, I think you need grace and acceptance. Do those mistakes make you a bad person? No one truly knows that answer, not even you. You can’t sit around trying to figure out if your a good or bad person. Bottom line is your human and as humans we ALL make mistakes. Pretty excellent that we aren’t the only people making mistakes. You can’t go back and fix the past but you can live here in the present and live a happy life.

@ocdcycle Huh?

@ocdcycle Ohhhh ok I was gonna say how was what I said beautiful but I get it now

@Wildflower76 Thank you for the advice but I don’t think I could ever accept it. I absolutely hate myself. I don’t know why I was so stupid back then. I would never do that now. Ever

@Just Breathe ❤️ I would say the fact that you would never do it again shows that’s you aren’t that person nor are you a bad person. EVERYONE has done something bad and has made poor decisions, it’s what we learn from it and how we choose to move forward that shows who you are

@OCDHaver I understand but it tells me that I am a horrible person who needs to be punished because it also keeps telling me that it was equivalent to something a bad person or monster would do and it’s making it really hard to shake

@Just Breathe ❤️ I understand, do you have a therapist at the moment, maybe they can help you process all of this. But just know, I don’t think you’re a bad person

@OCDHaver I do have a therapist but because I haven’t payed in a while because I’m having a hard time affordeding it, she’s not really helping me so. Thanks I appreciate it. I really hope I’m not one

@Just Breathe ❤️ You’re not a bad person, and I’m sorry you’re having trouble with the cost, I’m in the same boat, specialists are expensive. I hope you can find something more affordable. And I have a lot of tough times trying to feel like a decent person, but I’m just scared I’ve done something truly morally unforgivable on the dating apps, people tell me it wouldn’t be my fault if the worst case scenario did happen, but I still would never forgive myself for it. So just know that you’re definitely not alone

@OCDHaver It just hurts so much. I did something so stupid and there’s nothing I can do to change it. The guilt I feel every single day is so hard to deal with but thank you I appreciate it