Theses feelings feel… so real… I wanna cry…. It’s like I am living a nightmare… why is it randomly I know I love him and have feelings for him…? But most of the time I feel like I really don’t love him at all… 😢 I need help I really do.. I constantly deal with anxiety I dont wanna stop loving him… I don’t wanna be his ex I Just want to know I love him!! That’s all!! All I want is my feelings to come back and to know that I love him when I don’t feel love… I fucking hate this…

I believe you when you say it… bc I know deep down I still love him. Even now I feel and hear lie in the back of my mind. But I know I want to stay with him. We haven’t had sex in a very long long time too… 😞 when he talks about sexual things it’s like I get disgusted by it… but when I am happy there are times where I get in the mood that I want to but too afraid to approach it… It also feels like 11 years with him never happened…. It hurts…

I just don’t like that I got so comfortable and use to feeling this way… it’s annoying….

@Mandy7710 Hi! I understand how you feel. You should just be honest. If you want to be intimate again, just approach and say that you want to be physical and that you havent felt courageous to talk about it... What you feel is soooo normal... (hugs you) you are not alone...

I am worried that since I focused on nothing but the negative side of him that I forgot his positive side…. My period is definitely coming. I broke down to him crying bc I am so stressed out. People have too much of a high expectation of me and that every relies on me too much like I have all the answers… it stresses me out and causes added stress on top of what I am going thru already… My partner just hugged me and told me everything will be okay. My partner due to his own trauma growing up has a semi negative view on the world. He knows he needs help but he feels talking to a therapist in a room one on one is better for him. He gets nervous abo it how people views him how everyone thinks he is a man child bc he doesn’t wanna drive bc he doesn’t feel he has a good mental state to do so. I told him I don’t mind that he doesn’t drive. He does do other things to make up for it. He does care about what others think about him and feels like when he does something wrong he gets looked down on badly. There’s a lot he went thru and he feels like he was a mistake to the world and his family wants nothing to do with him bc of some of the mistakes he’s made and a lot of the mistakes his mother has done. But then I ask… am I with him out of guilt and pity… always knew I love him. But then my friend said I don’t know my own worth. Do is that another reason I’m with him.., bc I don’t know my worth… 😞 which was never the case before my ROCD got this bad…

I think my period is coming…..

I kept telling myself I didn’t love him just to get a reaction! Now I got so use to it it doesn’t work anymore!! I can’t take it anymore! 😢😭😭😭 I want to love him why can’t I just be close to him again like before! I don’t wanna replace him! I don’t care about his flaws I am tired of thinking bc about him only negatively!

It’s like when I touch him I get theses strange sensations!! It’s like I am using him!!! 😭

I refuse to believe that theses feelings are me! I REFUSE it!!!

@Mandy7710 Same here…. The worse is tht my gf had a dream that I was cheating on her and using her, and she told me and I almost died. Thinking that it was a sign if she’s dreaming about it, that maybe that’s what I’m going to do, that I’m a horrible person for leading her on. That was last Sunday. I forgot all about it, I thought about it because your post made me think of it… matter of the story is that you’re having a bad day and you will get through it, I promise you.

@patricia12 I’m sorry for triggering you…. It’s just it doesn’t feel normal anymore… I don’t wanna have sex with him lately…. I’m scared that that’s a true sign that I fell out of love with him…. 😞 that I’m not in love with him anymore… hearing that makes me wanna cry mu eyes out…… I do still find him very attractive. I am just so stressed out that I can’t take much more…. He wants to know why I keep waking up at night and while he knows what I am going thru he wants to know what caused this to happen again…

@patricia12 I even told him not to worry bc it’s my problem that we have other things to worry about. (Moving) it just feels like we’re just friends…. While I know we’re not it just feels like this… I just want to love him like before 😭😭😭

Tbh with you I’m obviously not a professional but to me it sounds like you’re not being intimate because of alll the stress. I have also gone through the same