I feel like in order to function in my failing marriage right now, controlling my OCD is one of the biggest challenges I can face. My spouse has dealt with it for years and she is over it and me. I confessed something last night and it ruined her mood and she is incredibly pissed off at me. She told me that I am a horrible person. It stings. For every confession I perform to alleviate the anxiety, there are 10 or more that I control. I hate this and living in a situation that is toxic. I don’t really blame her because OCD can be annoying and hurtful to someone else. I just wish she could see through the confession, know that I am trying and realize its the OCD. Oh and I am the most selfish and narcissistic person alive too according to her. So yeah, theres that as well.

Hey hey. I get you. I lost two important boyfriends because rocd confessions, before I even knowing that I have it. It was soo painful! So I understand you really. But you should also see things by your gf eye! She always have to support you every time! And for people that don't have it, is terribly difficult not taking doubts personally!! There is no one to blame! Because no one choose to have rocd. Try to make her understand that you appreciate all her support that she gave to you, that you have doubts but that doesn't mean you don't want her, that they are an unconscious response; that you don't want them too... by keep facing your ocd!! Now she is the one in a bad mood. She is having a bad moment. Allow her to be human, and try to support her like she is the one with rocd! We all say things that we don't really think... It hurts, I know. But show her that your relationship means to you a lot, and you prefer put your pride aside than her!!

Sorry I don't know what all your fight was about, I'm speaking generally!

Thank you @Saraa. The fight is about me confessing about my anxiety about our dog. We had a poisonous tree that I cut down awhile back and I has to store the clippings in the garage and slowly get rid of them because we live in a condo. It is oleander. I exercise in the garage and so I am freaking that I am tracking remnants of the dust or whatever inside and when I walk the dog after putting on shoes that I wear in the garage I think I am poisoning him while I give him treats. I have procrastinated on cleaning it out with soap and water. So she brought up an oleander bush that our other dog wanted to sniff last night and in that same discussion I “confessed” about my anxiety of what I just described. So that is the fight. I think a combination of harm and relationship OCD. BTW we are still n the midst of a divorce after 16 years of marriage.

Wow Those are a LOT of years! I should probably ask advices from you!! I had some long relationship but not that long!! I can give my point of view, a feminine one! I can also share some experiences; but I don't know If I'm the right position to give you advices!! Anyway, I don't think this is the real motivation for her reaction... I mean it is really not a big deal, i have those plants, and a cat that always climb on them, and he is super alive! Maby you did something else, maby in the past, that put her already in a bad mood... or maby she started to have doubts herself... the point is, that I don't think that the main problem is connected with this oleanders situation 😅

But talking for experience, there are a lot more chances to get the situation better; if you start to be optimistic about you two! If you make her feel great again (not by doing everything she ask you, but making her feel loved and understanded!), she will start to see you with different eyes! You probably have also to be a little patience at first, things can't change in a day! But you probably know better than me😅😅 I hope you get what you prefer! But things can always get better with some efforts, remember this!!

Good advice. Thank you.