Does anybody have thoughts that come out like statements? Right now I keep saying in my head I don’t know why you act like you’re not bisexual when I’m not! It’s not an act! And now I’m scared I feel like kind of like when you get an itchy scalp except much lighter and down there and I can’t move from my car right now. I can’t stop thinking I don’t know why you act like you’re not when I’m not bisexual and I’m not acting! I don’t understand why I can’t just go to sleep. I just want to sleep. And I don’t like the way boobs stick out and I don’t really wanna be here anymore I don’t wanna die but I don’t want to exist

Im currently going through the same and am trying my best as well. Idk if ill give in to checking and cumpulsions but i sure am going to try my hardest to not do anything to engage with these thoughts, and if i get tangled i hope i have the strength to see whats happening and continue to do nothing. I will stop feeding my ocd

@Mr.ocd You got this! I believe in you and you not alone we can do this its hard just not impossible.✊✊✊

@Mr.ocd Thank you

@Bookworm91 I hope it helped i have the same theme as you.

@Mr.ocd It did a bit yeah. What scares and confused me at the moment is that I was literally 5 minutes ago I was just sitting totally zoning out. I don’t know what exactly I was thinking because I just can’t remember for whatever reason it was weird because I was zoning out but then the back of my brain wasn’t and I said I was I was I know I was mad I was so frustrated and I said something like boobs/balls but I don’t want boobs and the thing is what scares me is that I can think something like that so emphatically like I was no and you have to say balls to like I really am when I’m not bisexual and if I think something like that mindlessly what does that mean is inside me? I don’t want boobs so I don’t understand I would why would say boobs/balls when I want balls and even as I was trying to write that sentence I said boobs in the back my head when I don’t want them and I don’t now I don’t wanna know who I am I don’t want to look and I can’t stop thinking of the shapes and stuff and points and nipples and shit and roundness and I don’t like it and keep hurting my lips but I don’t wanna do what babies do and I’m blushing I hope you’re not offended but it’s kind of embarrassing talking to a guy about this because I don’t know a lot of other guys are probably just trying to turn this into a kink not saying you’re that guy I’m just saying in general it’s just embarrassing. I keep pressing my lips like I do but I don’t wanna do a babies do and I keep saying how I don’t want boobs/balls and I keep picking boobs and I’m scared I said I have to embrace my sexuality but I don’t want boobs I wanna embrace that don’t want boob/balls but why do I keep picking I don’t wanna boobs and now I can’t breathe like I feel worse I don’t want boobs at all I wanna balls not/boobs i’m just gonna do and I’m scared I have to except him to keep a little imagine living life saying but I’m I’m not bisexual I said with a dual I don’t have a dual attraction But why do I keep picking them and I’m scared I don’t and I am but I’m not gay either I don’t want boobs I don’t want boobs I can’t say it I don’t want boobs/balls I want balls but why do I can possibly keep thinking boobs I want balls I don’t want boob/balls I want balls I want boys I want pectorals I don’t want boob/balls I want balls and I don’t understand

@Bookworm91 From what ive read in one of my ocd books ocd thoughts/ instrusive thoughts are ego dystonic meaning they go against who u are which is why they cause a alarm and anxiety to go in your head and since we have a ocd brain its harder to let them go because ocd minds are sticky. Another thing is you afraid to say boobs instead of balls when you ask yourself what you want. But the more afraid you are of something more itll pop up like if you're in the dark and you afraid theres something in your room your mind will start making creatures and figures with the glimpses of oight that enter your room. Its the pink elephant thing where if i say close your eyes and dont think of a pink elephant its gonna be hard to not think of that. The lip thing seems like another layer of the same compulsion too but adding your senses to it. I think that might be why its hard for your brain to not say boobs atm.

@Mr.ocd This could take shape with any word, image, sensation etc. I mean literally for me its checking if i have feelings for this coworker that i already checked if i had feeling for a while back in my case i feel like my ocd latches on to positive feeling i have towards a guy such as a feeling of friendship, thinking theyres cool, good looking etc... and flipping it to try to make me think it means i actually like them. In this instance the guy is a photographer too but hes also a nice guy and i think hes cool so i like him as a person and my ocd is like check if this feeling mean you "LIKE" them and i check and after my fog brain and fight or flight response with the scary thought of this feeling actually being a actually liking feeling fades i can see that it isnt that but it left me drained and afraid i didnt check right etc.

@Mr.ocd And its super scary for ke because its like ive already dealt with this already. But my ocd adds a new spin to it always. Also OCD just like a baby throwing a tantrum to get what they want, when you ignore them they yell louder and and start throwing things to get their way. So the ocd thoughts get stronger, giving us more anxiety and worry until it finally gets what it whats in our case a reaction to keep feeding the ocd inside our brain. Ive managed to kinda of brush off some scary things these past few days but it got more intense today and i gave in. Now im left with this worry. But if we get through the strong part just once on the other side awaits growth and breaking off even if just a little bit from the hold ocd has on us. Like how a storm gets really bad right before slows down and it stops. I never once seen a steady downpour.

Not good. As you can tell in the above 👆🏻 Sorry about your caving. I do that all the time

@Bookworm91 I keep saying sexier and I can’t be there isn’t anything sexy about the girl and I’m scared I focused on her more than the guy in this article I was looking at when he’s the sexy one he’s always been and I’m scared I don’t want the score to be cute she’s the same person that was crawling up a guys front with a bra no panties on And I keep saying nothing anything sexier than that there isn’t anything sexy about this and now I’m choking like it’s a lie it’s not i’m scared I’m smiling saying there is an anything anything is sexier than that I’m scared I’ve been living a lie I’m not bisexual anything sexier than that she’s not a cute one I don’t know I don’t like the way boobs thing why do I feel like everything is going wrong I keep smiling thinking of her naked like basically with no panties and bras on I’ve seen girls naked doing each other it’s not fun I keep saying there isn’t anything I said nothing offer me anything sexier than that there’s nothing sexy why is it shocking why does my tongue feel stupid for my mouth there isn’t there is nothing sexy about that’s not sexy it’s just nothing there’s nothing sexy about that why am I smiling like with an innuendo like I mean there’s not anything is better than that why is this happening I don’t want to switch teams I don’t wanna focus on her the guys not weird looking he’s a cute when I don’t wanna be by

@Bookworm91 Ive done the checking of males physical too... It was so freaking scary... Gronial responses were scary until i learned that are anxiety affecting the private areas and hyper awareness of them.

@Mr.ocd I hope so but I’ve done the opposite of you and obviously not the same thing happened really but still freaking out if you know what I mean so like similar but not totally the same. But what scares me right now is that when you describe looking at male genitalia which I actually enjoy I cringed and I stepped away inside my head like I don’t like it and I don’t understand why would that be or why would I say EW when I like males it’s not a W now keep treating them like they are when they’re not and that scares me I can’t stop making a disgusted face like maybe men and I can’t stop remembering I smile like I do but I don’t want women naked I don’t want a woman to have a dick I want a man to have a dick because unfortunately I’ve seen that the things I’ve seen is not something I am proud of but I don’t like acting like dick is when it’s not nasty nice definitely don’t want What goes into and I act like I would like that is but I don’t want lips and I said vagina is but it’s way more disgusting that interesting I want dick why am I treating it like it’s gross why did I do that

@Bookworm91 I keep trying to delete my app as an attempt to stop venting but I imagine being at a party and I acted like an even did this nodding gesture with your chin you know when you’re indicating something and as a beautiful but I don’t want I don’t want I know I don’t want women and then I said no and I made a face like I smelled something bad but I do want beautiful Boys I want men I keep saying don’t I don’t want beautiful men I don’t want women