cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
SO OCD/HOCD can’t change people.
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
What do you mean by this? I have always been straight and want a straight future, but I’m having these intrusive thoughts making me doubt and question that. I feel nothing like myself anymore.
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
But it can make them realize they they are gay later on in their lives?
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Like hocd can’t convince you. People who are truly gay come out gay because they want to be gay and can’t get an erection for the opposite sex. In other words your thoughts cannot change who you are. I can think I’m a different skin colour than I am but at the end of the day I am still white. Just like if I think I’m gay it doesn’t matter. I’m still straight. In other words sexual orientation like skin colour doesn’t change and it isn’t by choice your mind cannot change who you are. Hope this helps. Best way to get over OCD is to face the fear subject. Ex, read a book about the subject. Etc. Also, ERP helps people learn how to realize thoughts are thoughts. I use to get gay thoughts or thoughts to come out. Best way to deal with it is to tell yourself you are or you not and that you don’t need to know if you are gay or not. After doing this my mind would allow me to relax. By relaxing the thoughts would slowly go away. To present that I don’t really have to deal with them a lot and haven’t had a panic attacks in awhile. Anyways just trust your gut.
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 It can and can’t. At the end of the day no intrusive thought changes you.
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 My thoughts dont feel intrusive they feel like my own, I think hocd made me realize im gay
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 I feel as if that’s your own choice. I can’t get hard to the thought of being with another man. So I realize my thoughts are just thoughts and that I have always been a heterosexual. A good article for you to look up is hocd hope. http://www.ocdhope.com/2014/03/youre-not-gay-homosexuality-anxiety-in-ocd/ Link for it.
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 I cant really relate to hocd articles anymore, Been dealing with it for a while and I dont think its just hocd anymore.
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Nothing wrong with being gay. Choose what you think is best for you. God bless
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
That’s my current fear but the opposite. I’m a straight female and have only ever been with men and only want a future with a man in the future. Tbh the thought of being with another girl makes me freak out but for some reason my mind won’t let up and is convincing me I’ve “always been gay.” I’m just struggling to remember that truly gay people desire being gay and are afraid of being straight, whereas for me I have always been and always want to be straight. Not sure if that makes sense
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
Just don’t pay attention to the thoughts. Easier said than done. Look up OCD tips. Also, gay who are gay don’t do anything people do with SO OCD to find out their sexual orientation.
mtaylor25mtaylor25
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve had it for like 3 years (on and off) and it just doesn’t really affect you as much after awhile. I adore my gf but sometimes I see a guy and it feels like I feel minor attraction but just don’t give it any more attention after that. It gets easier - you just have to embrace uncertainty and let the thought enter and pass. Also I identify as bisexual now which helps
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
Did you know you where gay before HOCD?
mtaylor25mtaylor25
- Date posted
- 3y
Well for one I don’t really care about my sexuality that much anymore, and I don’t consider myself gay, just not 100% straight. Like I accept that I might sometimes feel attraction towards men - that’s just being human. If the thoughts come up in your head, just have the thought then don’t give it any more energy (i.e. compulsions)
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. I agree with that. Nothing wrong with finding another male good looking. Nothing gay about that at all.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 3y
This is so triggering
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@missbluesky It’s ok to be attracted to males, females, etc. Don’t let your mind confuse you into being a bad person for thinking that.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 I don’t think being attracted to both men and women makes someone a bad person, I’m saying it’s triggering for someone with SOOCD.
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@missbluesky Trigging to someone who overthinks. There is nothing wrong with it. I’m not trying to give people anxiety. I’m trying to teach them to relax with actually facts. How they interpret my comment is up to them.
missblueskymissbluesky
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 You clearly don’t understand SOOCD.
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@missbluesky No I do. Don’t take my advice then. God bless ya.
ocdmanocdman
- Date posted
- 3y
It changed me
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
How so?
ocdmanocdman
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Well I’ve been straight all my life and had gay dreams 4 nights in a row when I woke up I had some arousal but then when I wake up and watch gay porn I feel no more than a tingle those dreams I fear are evidence of my homosexuality or bisexuality and I’m not going to stop watching porn till I get access to it or realize it’s not real
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocdman Stop giving into what your mind tells you to do.
ocdmanocdman
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 What do you mean
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocdman Stop checking to see what your sexuality is and just let the thoughts flow.
ocdmanocdman
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 I just want to feel like me again
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
@ocdman You can! You just have to relax and not care. I stopped caring and I’ve went back to myself. Somewhat lol. Anyways believe and you will achieve.
run99run99
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re Not alone. I’m a straight female who has SOOCD as wel. It’s so hard but stay the path and go to therapy. You will get through this I promise
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
Does therapy help? I found my session made it worse.
run99run99
- Date posted
- 3y
@Allstar07 With ERP, it is common to get worse before it gets better because you have to face the fears head on. This is super common.
Allstar07Allstar07
- Date posted
- 3y
How did ERP make it better for you? I found for me I just stopped caring about the thoughts. I’ve gotten somewhat better.
Related posts
kitchensink234
- Date posted
- 20w
Advice please!
I have been really battling with my SO OCD, and I’ve recently started to have a ton of wins!!! I’m really excited about it, but as I’ve noticed myself not engaging as much… different things have popped up. Now im obsessed with people’s perception on me, and them looking at me and thinking by how I walk, how I talk, what I wear, how I move… that I am gay? And am so convinced everyone thinks that and “knows something that I don’t”. Is that typical with OCD? If so, any ERP advice on how to overcome these thoughts?
ocdsurviver
- Date posted
- 17w
How do y’all deal with this?
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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anonymouscookie
- Date posted
- 14w
so ocd and bisexuality
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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