ITS REALLY LONG SORRY BUT IF SOMEONE HAS TIME OR WANT TO HELP ME, I WOULD BE HAPPY :) This is my 3rd post about this,sorry... I still not understand what is the difference between Suicidal ideations and feelings, and Suicidal Ocd... Everyone write down both things differently, like i understand the first thing is that you feel that you want to kill yourself, but there is the "ideation" where you just think that bc you feel hopeless but you dont want to do it and youre affraid of it and feel shame that you have. And suicidal ocd is the same, you have thoughts about suicide, youre affraid of it and you feel shame. Like i understand that planning your death is a different thing, i would count that as suicidal behavior and danger, but when you have thought about it then you feel affraid of it and even shame that you think like that bc you dont want to do it, then i would say that that sounds like ocd... like when i was almost healed from anxiety, i had really good days and still sometimes my mind randomly imagined that i hurt myself and when i felt good i didnt cared about it but when i felt bad i started to question why i have these and if i have ocd or im really suicidal, and when i said that its just ocd i felt better and i wasnt affraid that i will do it... but after months its still here and im still confused what i have. I know i struggled with meaning and i felt hopeless about things in the months but what if hopeless can trigger suicidal ocd? What if that thoughts was just ocd thoughts and the feelings are to bc when i felt them i always knew that they are bad and wrong, but lets say these random feeling of wanting to die isnt ocd but what i read about it on the net, this isnt suicidal behavior, this dont means that you will kill yourself, nearly everyone has thoughts like they want to die when things seems like hopeless, but that goes away with time. And i think that i had this but then the random thoughts and images of hanging myself and hurting myself was ocd bc while or few seconds after that i felt wrong for thinking it, i was affraid "what if i do it, what if i lose my mind and will do it" and i remember when was so sensitized bc of the fight with my mind, i even had a thought that everything would be better if i would die, it would be better for me too, and after that imediately everything went away and i thought "why you think this? Whats wrong with you man, this is bad" and i think that if someone is really suicidal, he or she wont have this reaction. I could give more exemples like the feeling of the urge to do what the thoughts says but ocd has the same too, so i will end it here bc its to long now, but yeah share your opinions, what you think, bc it seems like Suicidal ideations(not planning) are suicidal ocd if you feel bad about it and youre affraid of it...and you can even convince yourself that youre planning your death or you want to die bc before that i never had that but when i read about this planning, i was like oh i did not have that, then im safe, and my mind was like "did you really? What if you will have?" And since then i have intrusive thought that i planned in the past or that im planning my death... so yeah its a really confusing thing...