Me and my partner have been together for almost 3 years now. We live together and own a pet together and haven’t encountered many major problems except for some bad arguing, but we’ve always gotten through it. I went out one night and danced (physical touch involved) and flirted with another man. I didn’t cheat but I crossed a line I felt sick with guilt and confessed everything. He took it really well and understood everything I was saying, though he was hurt and angry - he said he just needs some time, I guess to process it? He said we’ll be okay, our relationship will be fine and nothing is going to change and he still loves me, he’s just not exactly going to feel warm to me right now. This whole situation, however, led me on to confess on more examples of me being flirty with other men. One time I was out and a similar situation occurred, not as bad, I didn’t physically dance with him. I also had a flirty relationship with a work colleague - it was never anything bad and I also worked with his girlfriend but he once messaged me and he must’ve been being very flirty (again, I don’t think it was anything crossing lines) and I flirted back, but then I deleted the messages which was bad, but I told my boyfriend this too. I suffer with OCD, which makes me overthink, so now any situation or example of me being disrespectful that I remember, even if they’re not awful and he doesn’t need to know, or even if I can’t remember them fully, I feel this insatiable need to confess. If I don’t tell him straight away it eats me alive for hours and even if I can convince myself for an hour or so that it’s okay, it’s not a big deal and probably not worth him knowing, I still convince myself to tell him, which I think is making matters worse. Basically, I’m seeking reassurance and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what to do, I feel I’m stuck in an endless cycle of confessions, it’s driving me insane. It’s affecting our relationship more than the actual actions are. Please, can anyone help?

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

I desperately need advice. I had a huge argument with my boyfriend yesterday. The relationship was close to ending because I did something that hurt him deeply and crossed a line. I was on someone's profile even though I said I'd never do it again. I just didn't think anything of it. That's not directly relevant. Anyway, new things keep coming to mind, that it didn't just happen once, and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's compulsive, whether I should confess or not, whether I should say it because otherwise I'm being dishonest. I've been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've often had moral issues too. Does that sound like OCD? The fact that I was on the profile had no meaning for me and I don't know to what extent my obsessive compulsive disorder plays a role in it.

I want to not be a burden for my partner. I have many friends of the opposite sex, I have not done anything with these friends and everyone knows how devoted I am to my partner. Still, I have these ruminating thoughts that somehow I’ve done something wrong, I’ve somehow cheated and my partner is going to find out and break up with me. I am a flirtatious person, and I think this is where this stems from. This may also stem because one of my male friends is attracted to me, but we’ve made it known we are just friends and he respects my relationship. A casual conversation where I may have verbally said something flirtatious can cause me to spiral for a whole day or days (and I’m working on that, my partner believes that everyone flirts and flirting is natural as long as it doesn’t go past boundaries.) I am so scared to lose my partner (we’ve been together 3 years) due to my constant OCD and obsessive thoughts that I then have to confess to him (he’s never mad and reassures me) and then work to get over it in my own mind. I know that I would not cheat on my partner and he is the one for me, but sometimes it feels like I cannot have friends and be with a partner because I don’t want my partner to ever feel like I’m willing to risk our relationship. It is so hard emotionally, I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings and stop being a friend because I can’t control my own thoughts and emotions. I worry so much about having possibly said something super inappropriate and don’t want my partner to be stuck dealing with me and my emotions. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it for fear of feeling crazy or someone making light of the situation because to some it may seem like something so insignificant but to me it feels like the hardest hurdle to conquer.