7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
AJS24AJS24
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s seems to me that you are clinging on to the thought that love is supposed to be a feeling when really it’s an action. This was hard for me to understand the first time I heard it. What you do or are willing to do for your partner determines your love for them. The love you give to your boyfriend isn’t for you to feel… it’s for him to feel and the same thing goes for the love he gives to you. Of course it feels amazing to have that warm fuzzy feeling around you partner but do take note that the mind is very powerful and can make you experience emotions even from thoughts that aren’t true. You focusing on the thought that says you don’t love him creates emotions and the emotions grow stronger when you obsess. You go from distressed by thought to distressed by both thought and the feeling. Try your best to focus on the reasons you fell in love in the first place when you experience this. Capture it and feel it just as strongly as you would have felt the feeling when you felt like you didn’t love him. GIVE POSITIVITY THE POWER ♥️ I’ve struggled with many types of OCD…. ROCD being one of them and I can tell you the fact that you not feeling “in love “ at times causes you so much distress… you love him. Cause if you didn’t love him you would be okay with these thoughts experiencing and wouldn’t question your love. This feeling is temporary and usually short lived… though in some cases it’s an on and off feeling or happens for long periods at a time. I’ve believe I’ve seen you comment on awaken into love YouTube channel a few times and this seems to be a a struggle that’s been occurring for a while. A lot goes into why you feel the way you do but I can tell you your love for your partner is more real then the lies your thoughts are telling you. Any thought can become a feeling when you give it attention. You ever notice that sometimes when you think something happened and you feel the emotions of it just to find out it wasn’t true and you no longer feel the emotions cause it’s been relieved ? It’s almost like that.
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so very very much for this. It does mean a lot. Reading this did help in some way. I was thinking as to why I fell for him in the first place like. I told him one of the reasons why I love him is bc he makes me such yummy dinners! 🥰 I felt that off sensations when I said it but ignored it. I actually felt calm and happy towards the end of the night. Like I didn’t feel as though I was overthinking. My problem in general is I can become scared easily of any outcome that can become a huge threat to me or when I get upset I can become very critical. I watch the awaken into love videos to try to help understand things but but after awhile I started using them so reassurance. I’ve dealt with ROCD randomly but not this badly for 9 or 10 years now. B it since my huge trigger over a year ago this is the worst of it I’ve had to deal with. I even tried talking to someone on this app to get help and when I talked it’s like I never had ROCD.
Lilith666Lilith666
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 I think I always used to think that I had to love someone the way I loved my first love, but I think that type of love is different than a long-term relationship type of love
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
Would it be possible to talk you in a private chat?….
Jesse MillerJesse Miller
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
when you say "i dont feel love its like i really don't love him at all" - that is your OCD wanting you to find an answer. that is your OCD wanting reassurance and you to seek out reasons as to why you love him. instead of giving into the compulsions, accept that in those moments you don't need an answer as to why you don't love him in that moment. you won't love or even like your partner all the time. being in a relationship is a roller coaster of emotions. we won't always have these butterflies for them, but we can still love them on days where they feel pretty boring or plain to us. don't let OCD trick you into thinking you need an answer.
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
But… why can’t I make love with him? I have no interest whatsoever….
Jesse MillerJesse Miller
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 Are you in therapy through NOCD?
7710 ❤️7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jesse Miller No… I wanted to sign up after I moved at the end of next month…
Lilith666Lilith666
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 That sounds like something you should express to your therapist! Therapists often have good insight or lead you to your own self-discoveries about why you feel a certain way.
Lilith666Lilith666
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 You should consider signing up sooner since it is virtual. That we you can at least get scheduled.
Jesse MillerJesse Miller
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 I can only give you so much advice as I am only an advocate for the app but I do highly recommend therapy! Especially in cases where physical intimacy is hard. This is still a pretty normal avoidance compulsion. But it would be super healthy for your relationship to take the next step into therapy!
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Mariabae
- Date posted
- 23w
i feel bad for my boyfriend
He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.
ashleynicoleeee
- Date posted
- 21w
Does anyone else experience this in their relationship?
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
Anonymous79276
- Date posted
- 19w
Relationship ocd
I can’t stop thinking to myself “what if I don’t love her” but deep down I know I love her and that’s why I’m getting pissed off with these unwanted thoughts because it’s putting doubt in my head when in reality I love her what should I do?
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