If I am stressed about something he did/didn't do (thinking that he couldn't be the one for me because of that), than we have a fight where I cry; we didn't solve nothing, but after I feel much better; is that fight a compulsion??

i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.

from Saturday, i didnt talk to chat gbt, didnt post here out of desperation and didnt even cry . but, ofc, i still have thoughts and a strange feeling in my chest but im too over this and tired to respond . But what if i will stop the compulsions and responding to them, ignoring them, but i will still feel bad and realise my thoughts are real and im lying to myself and him. he told me to tell him when a though pops out so he can talk me through it bc he wants to help me and he is sad i always ask people online for help and not him, he did helped me various times but sometimes in just too much. Im scared, this is stupid i know, i know yhis is dumb and it annoys me. i think that he is cringe and annoying and that i dont stand him , and that means i dont like him bc sometimes i get mad at him and look at him with “disgusting “ but not in that way. like what if i dont stand him and i am with him bc im used to him and what if he is cringe and annoying… IM MORR CRUNGE AND ANNOYING THEN HIM BUT IT MAKES ME THINK I DONT LIKE HIM.

My husband and I don’t argue too often but every time we do I always get worried that we are going to split. The issues that we have are not always big but not only has he given me trust issues he also just doesn’t listen. We will go in circles with our disagreements because he just doesn’t see the point and this turns into me getting fed up and freaking out. No matter how mad he makes me it is so hard for me to turn it off and stop being mad when I think about losing him and this creates an anxious attachment. I have started to become detached from our arguments and caring less each time. I don’t know what to do or think and because of our disagreements I get anxiety and always think that he hates me even when he’s being affectionate This is the disagreement we had today that is causing my flare up: I am originally from CA and moved to AZ when I had my baby. My husband doesn’t like being in California and that’s fine but I have to go to California to go get the babies birth certificate because he was born there. I told him 2 weeks ago that I have an opportunity to go because my cousins wanted to come visit and bring me back with them and my mom was going to drive me back to AZ because I wouldn’t have a car. I asked my husband if he wanted to go and I voiced that I would like him to go because I didn’t want to be stuck taking care of the baby by myself because he is a lot of work. He said he would go but he wouldn’t enjoy it. I said he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to and insisted that he would go to help. Today my cousin asked me if we were going for sure and I asked my husband on the spot he was still sleeping. He got upset that I asked him that first thing when he woke up told me that he didn’t want to go and that he didn’t have a choice but to go. I told him if he didn’t have a choice I wouldn’t ask him. He said that if he didn’t go that I would be upset and therefore he doesn’t have a choice. I told him I would be upset and reassured him that I would go alone if he didn’t want to go. (Side note- I have trust issues because of something he did while I was pregnant and I don’t like to leave him alone but I would never say that out loud) We are going in circles at this point and I can’t help but have the ugly thoughts even tho this is our first argument in over a month. I don’t know what to do.