- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
❤️ this is totally normal and you are not alone in feeling that way. There is nothing wrong with you. I would encourage you to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and try to collaborate on things you think could help. Sex gets so much better the more you and your partner open up and talk about what you want. You also don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to. Sex is something you do together, enthusiastically and with active participation, for fun and pleasure and connection with your partner. Anything less than that isnt sex worth having. Hugs, you are not alone and this doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s hard to talk to my partner about it. He is aware of my ROCD but right now I don’t know how I truly feel anymore since I’ve been in such a negative state lately…
- Date posted
- 3y
When I think of how I was yesterday happy and relaxed being able to cuddle with my partner I was actually happy and knew I love him. But constantly I feel as though I don’t love him. I can’t tell if I am in denial about ROCD or loving him… but when I do feel happy I know I love him.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 🥺 I totally get that. It might even feel like you could hurt him by telling him what’s going on. Obviously I can’t know for sure, but to me it sounds like you love him very much. You care a lot about him and want to give him the love you know he deserves, and you’re worried that you don’t have that love. Your caring and worry for him is love. Love is a feeling but it is also a system of behaviors and it takes work. Your love is in your commitment to each other, the way you treat one another, and the effort you put in to your relationship. You love him so much it makes you sick sometimes.
- Date posted
- 3y
@booba I… just want you and everyone to be right… I cry and cry bc I want to just know I love him like before… we were so close before my trigger a year ago… I look at old pictures of us and I just sit and cry…. I want to be that person again. I was happy and loveable to him. My friend even told me why would you cry, but him snacks you know he loves, buy him a new flannel or do anything that you do if you didn’t love him? She said she was confused by that
- Date posted
- 3y
@Mandy7710 Oh darling I am so sorry ☹️ that just absolutely breaks my heart to hear. Why would you care so much about how close you are and how your relationship may have changed if you didn’t love him so deeply? If you didn’t love him, wouldn’t you be fantasizing about breaking up and feel relieved when you imagine him not in your life anymore? Your caring and worry about this reveals your true feelings. You love him. You care about him. You want to be the best for him and you want to be as close as you can possibly be. You might not have the infatuation, honeymoon type feelings like you do in the beginning, but those feelings aren’t love anyway. Love is wanting that person in your life for as long as you can possibly have them. Love is planning your life with your partner in mind.
- Date posted
- 3y
@booba Right now.. I don’t know if I love him… I can list a whole bunch of things I love about about him. There are times I tell myself I think it’s over but I would cry very badly bc I don’t want it to be over.
- Date posted
- 3y
@booba But how is it when I am relax I know I love him and during that time I am happy.
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s like… when I touch him it’s like I know I don’t love him anymore… 😞 even though I still find him attractive… I don’t like that I feel this way…. 😞
- Date posted
- 3y
When I think about breaking him I see myself crying and holding onto him bc I don’t wanna break up. I am so depressed… I just wanna love and make love with him again… the last time we had sex was before Halloween since then it’s been dead… I know our relationship has some issues we need to work on and get thru but I don’t wanna leave him bc of it. I get stressed easily and even my friends say I don’t handle stress in a healthy way at all..
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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