So I'm currently experiencing a lot of partner focused ROCD. I'm obsessing about my relationship being perfect and my partner being perfect. My brain is seeing his flaws as red flags and reasons to leave him. I see my ocd patterns here and but then I think what if im just blaming this on ocd and Im just ignoring these reasons to leave him. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Really need input. I have been suffering with doubts and thoughts since November. I saw a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD and have been in OCD medication for a couple months now. The meds have helped drastically with the frequency and urgency of my thoughts. But over the last week or so they have increased again. I did just get laid off from my job so I’m not sure if the stress from that has anything to do with it. But I’m at the point of questioning whether it really even is ROCD or if I’ve just been using it as an excuse to not see red flags. For example, my doubts are mainly around his contribution to chores, our quality time and romance, and how much of the load he will carry in the future once kids and things come into the picture. He is a hard worker who works long hours. He does also have ADHD which I think could be important to know here. But he will often say he is going to do little things like “Wednesday we will play a game together that night” and then they day comes and he ends up being too tired to play or just wants to watch our show together instead. And then if he doesn’t do a chore on the exact day he’s supposed to I start thinking he doesn’t care or doesn’t keep his word. I feel like I’m constantly asking for dates or romance or him to say sweet things. And I know sometimes he does. But at this point I can’t tell if it’s genuine unmet needs or if ROCD is making me not see the positive things he does or if ROCD is making me think I need more of these things because of unrealistic expectations or comparisons to social media. I think I know deep down I love him and want to be with him but then I start to think that I’m being treated wrong or that I’m settling. Please help.

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)