I just don’t understand myself… I don’t understand anything anymore… like why my feelings won’t come back at all… 😞 I had some moments of clarity.. but what if I am just denying this now… I even told myself I feel trapped within my own mind but yet I can’t seem to get out… right now my partner feels more like a friend than a lover which is not what I want… I want to be in between.. where he is my lover and friend.. not just friends.. I love him so very much but whenever I talk or am around him it’s like I feel nothing for him… I had moments after a hard day at work and come home to see him I would smile and give him a hug telling him I love him. But right now nothing… my partner also brings himself down a lot too so my ocd tends to bring up his personality. I just wanna love him like before so we can have a happy life again.