- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi there. Sounds like what you’re going through is really tough. This might not work for you but if it was me in this situation I would talk to her. I would sit her down and have a calm conversation about how you’ve been feeling, and emphasise on the fact it’s intrusive thoughts and you yourself don’t have suspicions, if that’s how you feel. The lack of sex doesn’t have to mean there’s a lack of intimacy. There are plenty of non sexual things you can do that will help you still feel close to your wife. I know it’s not the same but it may help. It does sound like ROCD, but I’m not qualified to say this at all. You’ll get through this. It’s going to be okay.
- Date posted
- 6y
We’ve had the conversation but she also has anxiety and it makes that worse for her. We’re working on the intimacy but every time it seems we’re making strides I ruin it by asking her about something that’s bothering me. We are seeing a marriage counselor next week but I’m skeptical how well it’s gonna go because it seems every healthcare professional around here isn’t up to par.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think my trigger is that she has t initiated sex or any form of affection or intimacy in well over 5 years. Part of it is kids and medical problems but it makes me have thoughts that she would be into everything with another man.
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s understandable, but at least now she knows it’s a thing and it’s bothering you. That’s a good idea to see a marriage counsellor. Go to that meeting with an open mind and be prepared for things to go either way, it may help or it may not, but don’t knock it until you try. If she wants to have sex she will have sex with you, I’m sure. She is most likely just not up to it at the moment, and that’s okay! Make sure you’re making her feel loved and make sure you tell her how beautiful she is, it could be a body image thing, you never know. I hope everything works out for you.
- Date posted
- 6y
She hasn’t initiated sex in 7 years. She says a switch flipped off and she doesn’t know what it is. I tell her all the time she’s hotter now than she was back then and I’m sincere about it. I tell her she’s beautiful and I love her all the time.
- Date posted
- 6y
U need to make her feel like wanting to have intimacy with u. Maybe u should b the one to make her feel like she did when u used to get the freak out of her. After u been with someone for a while and u have kids. The passion is gone at both ends. Then u exist and become farther apart. MEN always want the women to fix it or they step out and blame it on her lack of sex. U both have other shit in your head now. U are different people. Take her to a swanky hotel. RUB her feet. Feed her like the queen she is. B a REAL man! Then u might get your woman back!!!!!!
- Date posted
- 6y
I do do those things. We don’t go out much but not because I don’t take her out it’s because of medical problems and that our finances are tied up into that. But I’ll get flowers now and then and make sure the house is clean kids to bed and everything is ready for tomorrow so that when she gets home from work we can spend time together. Instead she says she’s tired goes to bed only to find she’s been up for 2 hours on her phone. I became suspicious because of that and all these memories came back up and I can’t get out of my head inconsistencies from the past that suggest she may have cheated on me. So now I have these mental movies of those memories but of her cheating and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t stop the thoughts from getting to a point of panic and I confront her about them.
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m having problems questioning if it’s ocd or a lack of trust based on 3 things that happens early on in our relationship that I completely forgot about and I’m obsessing about now.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.
- Perfectionism OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Relationship OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 18w
Themes constantly switching. I’ve been suffering with real event ocd the last year and am currently in therapy treating it. it’s nowhere near as bad as it was last year and it’s felt like a nice break. there’s days where it gets bad but i can’t compare it to the stress of last year. However i’ve noticed every time i overcome a theme a new one hits me out of nowhere. i’ve suffered with ocd since i was 9, and ive had multiple themes. i’m in a 2 year relationship with my partner and it’s amazing. she’s probably my second proper relationship due to the fact my first relationship gave me so much fear to get into another one as i was cheated on, and needed a few years to get over that. i kind of guessed that ROCD would creep in at some point as it just felt inevitable. anyways, i know my partner is not cheating on me, she’s beyond loyal, we are so so in love but i think due to that first relationship i had, being cheated on really messed with my head. it’s like my brain is telling me my partner has someone else even though i know in my heart nothings going on, and i trust her with my life. i also think because im in the happiest relationship of my life, anything that would indicate loosing her makes me feel sick and riddled with anxiety. and i know that’s completely normal for everyone. i think the most frustrating thing is, is knowing that my OCD has finally crept into my relationship which is something i never wanted it to do. this is a brand new theme and i have no idea how to treat this. i will speak to my therapist but if anyone has been through this theme and any advice in the meantime i would really appreciate it :).
- Date posted
- 12w
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship.. Today, for the first time, my partner cried because of it .. I didn’t know how to deal with my thoughts, and seeing him like that made me realize that I really need to change something. Anything that doesn’t make sense to me feels unbearable. And as soon as I talk about one thing, the next thought comes into my head, something else that doesn’t make sense and leaves me feeling uncertain again. I honestly feel extremely helpless right now.. Just as a side note: I was officially diagnosed with ROCD in a previous relationship, not with my current partner, but in a past one.
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