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Brave through

Date posted: 3y

This is killing me now i am lost I don't know if this is ocd anymore or just major denial cause i think i am just getting major proofs of that pls help me. Okay so i went out today and a few things or thoughts bothered me or didn't idk it was my friends birthday and she just kissed her bf and my other female friend was sitting next to me and the thought of kissing her just popped up?!! Like what?! And it felt to real like i wanted it and the lighting was also such and stuff just which i just found weird and then this girl was pretty and attractive and I thought that she was the same but i don't know in what sense now and if I don't know it could mean that it could be the one that i fear too this uncertainty now feels like it could lead me to my denial being true which is not true or is it!?!? Is it is and i am writing this so casually and okay with it what is that then. Then this guy was being creepy and trying to be like too close to me and the thought of saying i have a girlfriend popped into my head like right away without much thought.. why would that come if I don't think thats true or has some truth to it cause it was so like reflexive and if it is that what does that mean?!? Do i know the answer but don't wanna believe it or am i faking having od and this isn't that and am i asking these questions cause i want it to be ocd cause i think i wont have a problem kissing the same sex and what does this statement of mine mean people with soocd say they hate the thought or they would never why did i say the other though what does that say about me?!? Why does being with guys give me anxiety is its not something i want and why does being withe the same sex feel more like a possibility and real that the opposite its like i am telling people i am into the same sex feel more like a possibility and real that the opposite its like i am telling people i am into the same sex am i?!? What am I supposed to do how is this ocd how can this be anyone hearing will say its just me in major major denial... being with a guy feels like I don't want it whyyy what do i do?!? And sometimes i notice good looking guys and girls too and do i get the same feeling when i see them or is that ocd too?!? Like What do i do?!

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I feel your pain. I’m a “man” (inverted commas because I don’t feel like much of one at the moment).. I broke up with my girlfriend last night. I apparently have SO-OCD and R-OCD and what you’ve said resonates with me. The constant confusion and trying to figure it out is impossible to live with at times. I couldn’t keep putting my girlfriend through it. I hope you find some peace of mind with the uncertainty. The uncertainty won’t go while you keep asking yourself nonsensical questions “do I want to kiss her? Do I actually want to though? How would it feel? Would I like it?” These questions don’t have answers and OCD won’t accept whatever answer you come up with. You just have to stop ruminating, get off the treadmill 👍 stay strong and give yourself a break

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

This podcast has helped me in the past… https://theocdstories.com/episode/dr-michael-greenberg-rumination-is-a-compulsion-252/

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