Does anybody else have experience with obessional thinking about other people? I have begun to compare myself to others very negatively, to particular people in my life. It has grown over months to the point that simple words, colours, smells can trigger a thought about a person, past relationships and then following thoughts about my own self worth, lack of control over things and my general anxiety and distress. I am not really looking for reassurance. I just wanted to know if anybody else experiences this and how exposure therapy could work in relation to people and relationships.

Yes and I hate it . In my opinion ERP is the only way to resolve the issue as trying to rationalise of getting reassurance just fuels ROCD , if it didn’t we’d all be better after trying to rationalise the thought we had at the first time and not stuck doing the same thing weeks /months /years later lol

So when you have a thoughts about someone else let’s say you have to sit with your anxiety and agree with the thought until the anxiety dies down by itself , it has definitely helped me but it’s not easy , no pain no gain aha

Yeah I go the same things as you and it’s horrible as you wish you could control the thoughts cause they make you feel guilty and doubt your relationship. I think the thing is anyone goes through finding other people attractive in a relationship it’s normal and not realistic to think otherwise but when you have ocd you can’t let go of the thoughts and go on with your day , it’s all consuming and then it makes it feel real cause we spend so much time obsessing over it when deep down we love our parteners and don’t want the thoughts . That’s why ERP it’s the way to get better cause it helps get over the thoughts where as ruminating on them increases them

Like I have this intrusive thought where any time I’m having a good time with my boyfriend this one guy I went on one date with ages ago, suddenly comes to my head and then my ocd tells me that means I don’t deserve to have a good time with my boyfriend , it’s funny cause I never even missed or thought about this other guy before getting into my current relationship so I it’s an ocd thought trying to sabotage what I have but it still stresses me out none the less haha

Thanks Tillyyyx. I haven't started any ocd specifics therapy yet but hope it helps. I think what really traps me is I have feelings of lust, admiration, jealousy or irritation towards people which feel so authentic. I worry about exposing myself in case the feelings mean I have fallen in love with someone unavailable which leads to the breakdown of my current relationship, where I have loved my partner for many years and still do.

Yes I can completely understand. I think it is normal for us to make social comparisons, it's how humans get on for better and worse. However, I can get so stuck into it but the worst feeling is when I haven't been triggered in anyway but that a thought about someone else I have slept with or see around happens spontaneously, it feels like it is full of meaning, threatening even. I think that I have been through a hard period in my most valued relationship but that my reaction to it has been overtaken by OCD. It's rough, I loose all sense of preportion, become full of worry and self loathing... Then gain some insight. I really struggle in the morning as I think I'm going to ruminate all day, which you guessed it, means I ruminate!

Yeah but when you look at other forms of ocd like harm ocd or some ocd that you don’t have from an outside perspective you can see that’s it’s irrational and I’m sure people who don’t have ROCD can see our thoughts as irrational it’s just we’re in the middle of it it feels so real ! And yeah I’m the same lol I’m much better in the evening /late at night the morning it’s a struggle to get up cause I know what’s ahead of me lol

Yeah I sometimes read people’s stories of different ocd types as I find that can be more helpful