Can feelings go away after a really big disappointment?? It's like I don't know my bf anymore, it's like if it is a stranger. I became indifferent, reluctant and anxious at the idea of seeing him. My coping strategies is to take distances when I'm hurt... he did a thing that really disappointed me and made me feel so unspecial, I felt really really hurted. I couldn't stop crying for a day. (He didn't cheat, and no violence). And from that thing, my feelings change. I have rocd, and in past they changed a lot. But in the way that happend that day... never! We talked, he tried to find compromise, and wanted to change things. Now he is trying, but it feels like it is too late! Can my feelings came back, or do I have to broke up with him??

Perfect! This, and for me, it helps to move my focus into the real world, the world that's actually happening around me. Your brain noise can wait right now. Yes it REALLY can, even as you're thinking it can't. This isn't supposed to be easy. It's healing.

You're right.. that's a problem because I seriously don't know... try to find an answer flare up my rocd! He had a lot of secon chances, I seriously don't know anymore if I would love be happy again with him, because he feels so distant and hopeless... it feels like I can't love him anymore, it's too late, and I hate that! But I also hate the idea of loosing him!

@eoid I dont believe its wise to make a big decision about breaking up while ROCD is in the driving seat, and from what you've said here it sounds like it is. As long as you're in a safe place with your partner, and nothing really damaging is going on, I'd pause and get through what is probably a really anxious, triggering time and reasses when ROCD isn't making the decisions for you. ROCD doesn't discriminate, it'll be there through good and bad times. But bad times in relationships are inevitable and it is possible to deal with them in a healthy way.

@Lotte93 That's a good advice.. thank you! It's really hard for me though, because I can't feel anymore "the bond" between us, it's like being with a stranger!

@eoid I get it. Right now you think it's impossible you'll ever get that bond back. OCD is very convincing. Remember that feelings don't equal facts. Feelings come and feelings go. Trying to find the bond or generate the feeling will never work. Instead, practice mindfulness, do something physical like going for a walk or cooking a meal, in the real world right now (not the world in your head). Those scary thoughts can wait, they're not important and you don't need to know the answer right now. Feels impossible, I know. But just try it...

@Lotte93 Reading what you are writing is soothing lol.

@Lotte93 Thank you! Your words are really precious. I will follow that! Last question, what should I do when he ask me out for a date, or when he want to do something togheter?

@eoid Do whatever your OCD tells you not to do. If he asks you on a date and you get anxiety spike and start with the 'what ifs', then great - go on the date. It's a great exposure. You might feel anxious the whole time, or get an intrusive thought every 5 minutes. But as long as you're doing what I said above - staying in the moment, letting the thoughts float around you while you grin and bear it - you're doing great. Don't get pulled in to your mind. Stay in the real world and you might even find you have fun.... Trust me, I wouldn't be saying this if I hadn't been in the exact same situation you're in now and had almost given up. It works!