Can someone please help with the post I made an hour ago? I’m scared I keep cringing like I’m forcing myself to but I know I like males not females not theirs I keep I almost smile calling them but they’re not hot or delicious I don’t like female body parts so why would I smile I want male body parts why do I feel why do I cringe why do I feel forced I want men not women and I said almost with a smile not sweet but women are not sweet hotter delicious to me and I sound I sound how I sound I know it I said I don’t I do want then I said I’m not and I made a face like accompanying that as well I really think that but I do like men I’m scared I’m forcing it and I can’t stop making a face but I do like male body parts why would I make a face saying I said I don’t I really don’t like females why am I smiling I don’t like females I can’t breathe it’s like whatever body part is used to swallow is too swollen I can hardly breathe I feel like my mouth in my throat or somehow like swelling up. I keep saying I don’t like females not sweet as I mean otherwise but I want male body parts and I cringe like I don’t but I want men females are not sweet or sexy to me and I am really freaking out and confused

So this is just ocd? Like a bad episode of it ?

@Bookworm91 Yes , a really bad one , it’s just OCD , believe I have one of those , I had a attack recently and I was feeling hopeless but the medicine has been helping me

@2022Recovery I’m trying to lose weight though. And I hate that they don’t have medicine specifically for OCD but instead use anti-depressants to help combat some of the symptoms of OCD causes. And Anna depressants a lot of times cause weekend and I’m already very heavy I don’t I want to be skinny again so it’s like very much a struggle and I’m really frustrated

@Bookworm91 That sounds bad , I’m sorry for you but if it is for any use for you the medicine has really helped me with the anxiety , the thoughts still come but I’m way calmer

@2022Recovery I’m glad for you. And I will consider it when I have a better job

hello it sounds like you’re having a breakdown, i looked up some tips for anxiety and these should help. “ Close your lips and inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale completely through your mouth making a whoosh sound for a count of eight. This completes one cycle. “

@saltedcrabs I know things seem scary right now but try your best to use logic to combat this thinking pattern. everyone has weird thoughts sometimes, especially people with ocd, ocd can’t decide what your sexual orientation is though it might trick you into thinking it can. If you want to like men and don’t want to like women, then that’s finale.

Yeah just now I said this girl is and so she’s not that kind of sexy and I don’t want deserts on big round boobs. Sorry I was listening to a dude be goofy not r rated my brain took it there. I’m scared I said in college I thought but I never thought I was I have no desire to do anything I’m gonna tell my mom think I am but I didn’t actually think that and I tried to say that I knew so I didn’t know any such thing in college I think that when the ocd first hit me I just didn’t know what it was remember saying mom I think I am but I’ve never actually thought I was gay I was just scared of it does that make sense

Like I literally just remember that and that was years ago saying I remember being in the crossing mom think I am but I don’t think I’m actually gay I don’t think I am at all and then I said I don’t know so because I try to insinuate oh I don’t think I know but I don’t know any such thing and then say don’t think I know I’m straight OK I’m gonna put myself in timeout because clearly I need it

@Bookworm91 I’m so sorry I keep I can’t stop you keep saying no so but I don’t I know that I’m not gay I literally I don’t know so I know that I’m not and I’m freaking out because I had remembered that I can’t believe I told my mom I think I am in college I never thought because then my ex came back in my life and I’m like nope definitely not I mean I didn’t do anything with him but no I didn’t how can I have said something like that so long ago I don’t remember it feeling right and dreading saying something to my mom but I said something so you think I am but I don’t think I’m at all I know I’m not gay

@Bookworm91 Goddamn me the hell I keep saying no so I don’t know any such thing I don’t know how I could’ve said that my mom but she said I wasn’t and I believed her and I believe you guys here because you know what I’m talking about new experience and how can I have ever said I think I am to my mom I’m not get off I don’t know any such thing what I was thinking keep saying no so when I don’t know any such thing I know that I’m not I know the opposite

@Bookworm91 It’s normal to question your sexuality and still not be another orientation. Those thoughts you’re having are probably results of things you’ve heard before and things you’ve heard to describe other women

@PinkLotus That’s just thing I’ve never really questioned it underneath all the OCD and other shit. But I was working trying to put dishes away because I’m a dishwasher and I just now at the kind of mad like I said I can’t stand when I like guys and I passed by one dude and I felt a jolt in my chest like I don’t when I actually like pectoral but I felt weird jokes like I do when I don’t want a woman’s chest no matter the shape or size and I literally my brain acted like I was picking the woman’s chest when I don’t want it and then I made a really mad face almost as though no one I’m sorry not a mad face I made a face like I smell something that I can’t stand when I like guys and I don’t want a woman’s anatomy why did I say I can’t stand when I like that it’s not any kind of guy I like dorky lean guys but I’m really scared I did I felt a jolt in my brain and in my chest acting like I was really but I don’t wanna pick pointy or any other kind of boob either and for me to act mad like I don’t like them scares me . I literally act mad like I don’t like guys in their parts when I do and I don’t want them to stick out like women do And even though I thought never thought it was I’ve always known not just thought I know that I’m straight so for me to act like I don’t want I literally acting like they were gross and I shook my head and kind of like push guys Chesterside like I didn’t want that I don’t want pointy boobs either and I acted like now I keep nodding up and down like I do but I don’t want them I act like I pick them but I don’t want them I want pecs! I want male body parts I don’t understand why am doing this I just want to work and go home

@Bookworm91 Thank god it’s slow

@Bookworm91 You’re likely testing yourself as a compulsion to see what kind of reaction you have and freaking out when you have that reaction

@PinkLotus Probably. This one guy who I think has a thing for me is like I have something to give you and said myself maybe he overheard me venting and talking and because of the nature I wouldn’t be surprised if he got the wrong impression and then I said maybe I am but I’m not actually like that I’m not gay at all. I’m so tired. Thanks for being so patient. I hope I didn’t trigger you

@Bookworm91 I just don’t like the calm way I said it but I’m not gay

@Bookworm91 It’s okay, my mind answers itself with those thoughts as well I’ve learned to ignore them. Your thoughts are not reality

@Bookworm91 Kinda hoping it’s the Flexeril messing with me

@Bookworm91 It’s the ocd messing with you

@PinkLotus Thanks 🙏🏻

I hate this so much! It’s really slow at work right now and I just imagine kissing a guy just not even me so much is just a scene from a movie or something and then I keep putting my hand out like I wanna squeeze and I don’t want to squeeze boobs I don’t want to have that to do that I don’t like that I keep putting my hand out like that is the way I want to and I keep going with it even though it doesn’t really feel good. And then I make a face like I don’t but I like male body parts why do I keep putting my hand out in a cup in fashion as I do when I don’t want to squeeze boobs and I hate this so much it’s so embarrassing I can’t stop either. And I cringe in a pool way like I don’t but I’d rather have a male body part I don’t want boobs I don’t like the way they hang I don’t wanna squeez them Ok done sorry 😞