- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
This feeling is so hard I know. Sometimes its overwhelming! Its all shame related and the more we push the thoughts away the stronger they get. Its a paradox.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey, I know you’ve said in the past that you’re scared for privacy reasons, but please add me on IG if you ever need to, I’m here if you need me, I totally understand how you’re feeling, POCD, Real Event and False Memory are the worst. You’re not a bad person and you haven’t really done anything “terrible” from what you’ve told me
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi could I please message you on Instagram? If that’s okay :))
- Date posted
- 3y
I appreciate that but to me I’m scared of what if I’m a c word I hate to even say it. It makes me cringe and so sad. I don’t want to be a monster because of the mistakes I’ve made
- Date posted
- 3y
Maybe I will add you I don’t know. I just have a hard time trusting people
- Date posted
- 3y
I keep having thoughts that the mistakes I’ve made make me a p or a criminal or something I know that may seem extreme but it seriously feels that way and I keep praying it’s not true because I never had bad intentions. I still don’t
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ I totally understand, my real event revolves around talking with people online, so I understand. But please feel free whenever you need to, it’s a really scary feeling genuinely thinking you might be a p
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver Thank you I appreciate it. I know you said that you don’t think it’s terrible but is that really true? Do you really think that what I told you isn’t so bad to be in the same category as a criminal or a p? I’m so scared that what I did was so freaking wrong because of the m word being involved but like I said it was about the stupid fetish. Ugh I hate this so much. My mind keeps racing
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ You’re definitely not, OCD blows a lot of things out of proportion, you’ll be okay, I promise you, the problem isn’t the event, it’s the OCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver I still can’t help but think that it was so terrible though. My mind won’t leave me alone about it or give me a break. It keeps telling me it was illegal or I’m a criminal which like I said could be a little extreme to explain it that way but that’s what my mind is telling me
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCDHaver I want to believe you I really do. I want to also believe the ones who have told me to just let it go and move on but the thought of what I just said above just makes it so hard to just “let it go”
- Date posted
- 3y
If anyone would like to connect with me on Instagram mine is jodie_carterrrr
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Everything is building up and I don’t see a way out.
- Date posted
- 9w
I’m really depressed and lately life has been really really bad. Everyday, it’s like something horrible happens and my mind tries to make me forget it. My family life isn’t that great and everything is super tough for me. It’s like when I get better I go like a million steps back. I ended up doing something bad today:ended up becoming aggressive to myself and caused some ouchies) it hurt a lot and right now I’m really stressed and have been for a while. My mental well being has been extremely bad these days. I have obsessive compulsive disorder but for me it’s decently strong so it’s hard to contain, Complex-trauma, depression, and possibly ADHD. It’s an awful mix. My life is a living hell everyday. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep lying to myself to Myself that I’m getting better when in reality I’m in so much pain, it’s like I’m barely doing anything at all. Please, help, I’ve been acting not like myself. I want to live, even though it’s extremely difficult too and I rather much not be here, but people are counting on me and I don’t want to fail them. How can I convince myself to stay a little longer when I am fully burnt out from trying to get better? I’m in so much pain. I don’t know how to even deal with it. I’m so lost, I might lose it more, and I’m scared for myself. I feel like I don’t even deserve help. I’m so mentally unwell I can’t even think correctly. I hate everything and just want to sleep forever and ever. I’m so numb to it all. I don’t feel anything anymore.
- Date posted
- 8w
So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....
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