This year I started dating someone. After a few months I started to notice many things that I thought werent compatible. It was difficult but ROCD definitely played a big part. I started getting really jealous but at the same time I couldnt bring myself to commit with her. Eventually I kept bouncing between being with her or not being with her that I just broke up the relationship. It took many months to get over her because I blamed myself for the ROCD. Since then, I have met many girls that are great yet I fear even starting due to what happened last time I tried to push myself into a relationship. Its quite depressing to have given up on love.

Hi! Me and my current bf, had a phase like that! To be honest, sometimes we fall back in this "dance", but from the start; we improved soo much!! What helped us, was understanding that there's a deep deep world under rocd, made by wrong beliefs; fears, unconscious mechanisms, unresolved traumas form childhood/past relationships etc!! Everyone is different!! But for me, the doubts were only the "tip of the iceberg". Try to read about attachment styles! If you have an insecure one (Anxious = you always need validation from your partner; Avoidant=you can't commit even if you want to! Etc) it is already something to work and heal! Sometimes rocd is connected with fear of abandonment, rejection, love etc! (Someone told me that if you fear an emotion, Is because that hurted too much in past, and you don't have anymore space for it! That lead to heal some trauma!) Sometimes; our doubts are connected with belief that someone teach us! "Finding THE RIGHT ONE, love as the sparkling feeling that never end, things that should always go well in a good couple!" There are so many!! Maby there is some unconscious mechanisms! For example, I really fear loosing the other person, because it would really really hurt me. So if I feel that the other person is taking distance (maby even because they just need some alone time) I feel personally, and I start this mechanisms: "if I take distance before he did, he can't hurt me" so I switch off (unconsciously my feelings!)

this is what ocd will do to us, just trap us in indecision. it’s really hard. we’re trapped there because our ocd is trying to make us avoid bad feelings: regret from breaking up or sadness and misery in a relationship that isn’t “right” for us. but in the process of ocd we end up feeling a whole lot of bad feelings!!! i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years a couple of months ago. it was the right thing and it was hard and ocd was there every step of the way. but doing it and sticking to it ultimately has been so much better than avoidance due to fear and ocd. i think the same can be said for staying in a relationship in certain situations with ocd. i totally get why you’d be afraid because it sounds like what you went through earlier this year was really hard. but avoiding due to fear of those feelings again plays right into your ocd. with the help of a therapist, support groups, and psycho educational books on ocd, you can face the fear head on because (i’m guessing) a loving relationship is something you value.