- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Keep up the good work and donât let OCD win :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I have a challenge for you. Why don't you do a mental exposure until instead of fully going inside? If you're not ready to do that, I reckon just do baby steps if that's all you can do. For instance, if you can write as a reply in this comment what it would be like to step outside to vividly describe it and so that in your head will be an exposure and will help you in the long run
- Date posted
- 3y
I know what you mean. Imaginary ERP. I've used that in the past. I guess I've used that to an unofficial degree this time. I might need to use it too although I tend to use it to think up all the things that could go wrong and mitigate them.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize Iâve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasnât diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldnât explain: "What if God isnât real? What happens when we die? How do I know Iâm real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didnât want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. Sheâd say, "Maybe youâll kill yourselfâwho knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. Iâm working again, Iâm sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If youâre scared to try ERP, I get it. But if youâre already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
December 14, 2024, marked two years since my first ERP therapy session with my NOCD therapist, Mixi. And October 2024 marked a year of being free from OCD. It was not an easy journey, confronting my fears face to face. Exposing myself to the images and thoughts my brain kept throwing at me, accepting that I might be the worst mother, that my daughter wouldnât love me, and that I deserved to be considered a bad person. It was challenging having to say, âYes, I am those things,â feeling the desire to run, but realizing the thoughts followed me. At the start of my therapy, I remember feeling like I couldnât do this anymore. Life felt unbearable, and I felt so weak. I longed for a time before the OCD, before the flare-ups, before the anxiety, the daily panic attacks. I thought Iâd never be myself again. But I now know that ERP saved my life. The first couple of sessions were tough. I wasnât fully present. I lied to my therapist about what my actual thoughts were, fearing judgment. I pretended that the exposures were working, but when the sessions ended, I went back to not sleeping, constantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But my therapist never judged me. She made me feel safe to be honest with her. She understood OCD and never faltered in supporting me, even when I admitted I had been lying and still continued my compulsions. My biggest milestone in therapy was being 100% transparent with my therapist. That was when real change began. At first, I started smallâsimply reading the words that terrified me: "bad mom," "hated," "unloved." Then, I worked on listening to those words while doing dishesânot completely stopping my rumination, but noticing it. Just 15 minutes, my therapist said. It wasnât easy. At one point, I found myself thinking, âWill I ever feel like myself again?â But I kept pushing through. Slowly, I built tolerance and moved to face-to-face exposuresâsitting alone with my daughter, leaning into the thought that my siblings might die, reading articles about my worst fears, and calling myself the things I feared. Each session was challenging, but with time, the thoughts started to lose their grip. By my eleventh session, I started to realize: OCD was here, and it wasnât going away, but I could keep living my life despite it. I didnât need to wait for it to be quiet or go away to move on. Slowly, it began to quiet down, and I started to feel like myself again. In fact, I am not my old self anymoreâIâm a better version. OCD hasnât completely disappeared, but itâs quieter now. Most of the time, it doesnât speak, and when it does, I know how to handle it. The last session with my therapist was emotional. I cried because I was finishing therapy. I remember how, in the beginning, I cried because I thought it was just startingâbecause I was overwhelmed and terrified. But at the end, I cried because I was sad it was ending. It felt like I had come so far, and part of me wasnât ready to say goodbye, even though I had already learned so much. It was a bittersweet moment, but I knew I was walking away stronger, equipped with the tools to handle OCD on my own. If I could change anything about my journey, it would be being open and honest from the beginning. It was the key to finding true healing. The transparency, the honestyâit opened the door to lasting change. Iâm no longer that person who was stuck in constant panic. Iâm someone who has fought and survived, and while OCD still appears from time to time, I know it doesnât define me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. Have you started therapy, is something holding you back? Is there something you want to know about ERP therapy? I'll be live in the app answering each and every one today from 6-7pm EST. Please drop them below!
- Date posted
- 18w
Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I donât want to feel this way going into March, Iâve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause Iâm so overwhelmed by all the extra things Iâve added cause I thought it was contaminated. Itâs completely draining me to the point where Iâve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to meâŚI only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasnât doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)
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