- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey! I’d love to chat.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello! Do you have any experience with HOCD?
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 I’m starting to believe it’s all just a lie and that I’m bisexual.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl I’m not sure what to do. I’ve tried ERP twice but I can never actually do it. I’m lost, and I feel like I’m the exception.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl That’s what my worry has been, but I am trying to hang onto the fact that I would not feel so distressed and ashamed if that attraction was something I truly wanted
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl How have you tried it? I have not started yet but am supposed to be starting this week
- Date posted
- 3y
I hate when people write something like this. It always feel like they're trying to bait me into private and take advantage of me
- Date posted
- 3y
Look nobody is certain about their sexuality or whether they'll stay attracted to their partner irrespective of their gender or orientation. You gotta embrace that uncertainty in a world that pushes a lot of labels on us
- Date posted
- 3y
My problem is that these thoughts came out of the blue and completely go against what I value. I know trying to disprove thoughts only makes them worse, but I am disgusted by the way they make me feel, so I cannot seem to figure out what else to do.
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 You just got to accept that your identity is uncertain and unknownable
- Date posted
- 3y
If you receive any kind of good advice please inform me because I’m still trying to figure that out after anywhere from 6 to 8 years of this shit
- Date posted
- 3y
Boy do I. I’ve had it on and off since I was 12, and I’m now 20.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve had SO OCD since I was 14 and it is hard. It starts to feel real after a while. False attraction, losing attraction, groinal responses, intrusive feelings. It can get intense, but it’s important to keep reminding yourself to accept the uncertainty of it all. It can definitely be scary to do so especially when you fear what may happen but you can’t worry about something until it happens and that’s only if it happens anyway.
- Date posted
- 3y
How do you carry on and interact with family members without feeling like you are faking not having thoughts? This is all new to me and the hardest part is not feeling like myself at all but trying to get back to that
- Date posted
- 3y
Is yours on and off? And when it’s “off” is it still sort of there but it’s just not giving you anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 At first it was hard interacting with others because I felt so weird about having the thoughts. Eventually I learned to let interaction serve as a bit of a distraction. I was able to say “I’m not gonna think about this right now I’m going to hang out with my friends” and it helped a lot with holding off on ruminating and limiting how much I was interacting with my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl I’m not sure if you meant that comment for me but yes. It’s pretty much always on but in those past couple days where it wasn’t as bad the thoughts were still in the back of my mind but it was so easy to remind myself that they were not true
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl Mines is on and off. When it is “off” I feel mostly fine. I still notice the intrusive thoughts or feelings, but yeah I don’t get anxiety about it. I can just kind of move on with my life. Even if I do feel anxiety it’s not a lot.
- Date posted
- 3y
@stop. Mine can be “off” for months at a time. I feel like that’s not very normal for OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
@stop. Also, are you a girl? And how old are you?
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl I am a girl and I’m 19. You can’t really worry about what’s “normal” we all experience OCD differently. I’ve been “off” for almost a year before.
- Date posted
- 3y
@stop. You have other obsessions, though. This is my only one, and it started at TWELVE. that’s way too young!
- Date posted
- 3y
@stop. I’m a girl and I’m 19 too. I have signed up for ERP therapy but have not started yet and am scared that it is going to bring to light the fact that my thoughts are true. , I have only had past relationships with guys and only want that in the future, but these thoughts make it hard to remember any of the rational parts of my past. Have you ever dealt with this and how did you overcome hesitation when seeking treatment?
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl And that is perfectly okay. Your OCD wants you to think that it means something but it doesn’t. Many people have one theme. Most people start to experience OCD sometime in their adolescence anyway. You can’t give this meaning and let it scare you.
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 You really just have to accept the uncertainty that treatment might uncover something. It’s scary, but would you rather be free from your thoughts and possibly realize something or stay trapped and confused?
- Date posted
- 3y
@stop. It terrifies me, because why does THIS have to be my one theme? It makes it seem like a sexuality crisis rather than OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl That’s my problem too. This is my only theme at the moment and is absolutely killing me because it seems so much more real than all the others. It’s making me afraid that I don’t know who I am and that I’ll never be happy again the way I was two months aho
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Can’t you see though? You’ve had other themes. That means it’s really, actually OCD. you’re also older, and yog e had boyfriends that you’ve loved in the past. do you even have signs from childhood that point to being gay ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@lennygirl Pause. That is not true. You don’t have to have multiple themes for it to be OCD. OCD is OCD no matter how many themes. Age doesn’t matter either. You are invalidating yourself because your OCD is looking for reasons as to why it’s not. None of that matters.
- Date posted
- 3y
Could you guys please read my most recent post?
- Date posted
- 3y
Please, please look at my post and respond. I’m scared.
- Date posted
- 3y
Post a link to it
- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Please, PLEASE look and respond.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re all ignoring me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 20w
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
- Date posted
- 20w
I haven’t posted on here in a few days because I was feeling better but the past two days I’ve climbed my way back down the rabbit hole it seems. There’s this guy that I’m interested in and he seems to be interested in me. He keeps calling me pretty and how he’d like to meet me (he’s friends with my friends but I haven’t met him properly yet lmao) But I keep getting thoughts like “you’re not interested, you like women” and so on. I was feeling giddy about the whole thing up until two days ago where everything just seemed to shut off like my attraction, excitement and so on. I can’t believe I’m going through this again and I’m really trying to accept the thoughts but it’s so debilitating as I really want a bf but my brain keeps passing through thoughts that I do not want at all. Does anyone relate? Or have any coping strategies to help?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond