Anyone else get triggered just by hearing the words “gay” or “lgbt” or anything to do with that? I am a straight woman and this never used to phase me at all but lately it brings on strong HOCD thoughts and it is so distressing.

Did you ever worry during ERP that you would find out that your thoughts are true? I just started therapy and got my first exposures assigned to me today and am terrified that they will validate my intrusive thoughts.

@cf05 Honestly when I first jumped to ERP, I didn’t knew what it was. I literally got a therapist 2 days after I found out what I was experiencing (even though I’ve experienced my first two flares last year). Because I didn’t knew what I was experiencing, besides the fear of women / being a lesbian, the flares didn’t lasted long and I even forgot about it! Starting ERP was a challenge and I didn’t expected it, I was just hoping to get rid of the anxiety.. which it did over time. I’m not going to lie, every now and then, I do regret starting therapy for many reasons but I won’t get to it. However, ERP is a really good tool to help prevent other themes from popping up. I was doing ERP completely wrong for the first month.. which made my theme worst I feel, so it lead to feeling confused even though I know what I identify as. However, it can’t validate your intrusive thoughts as long as you stick with your values. Only you know you the best. ERP will definitely help you control your intrusive thoughts more, don’t be afraid :)

@WhyMe? Do you feel any relief from your symptoms now? I am so scared that I’ll never get past this and will never be able to find a guy and be happy and in love again.

@WhyMe? Sorry to bombard you with so many questions, I am just new to all of this and it helps to hear from someone who has a bit of experience.

@cf05 No worries! Going in, you have to accept that everyone has a different experience. For example, how long one stays in therapy, how long till they find relief and etc. I was also where you were so I understand, I was scared that I’ll forever have these thoughts and feelings threatening my identity and my relationship with my now fiancé. But we have to accept that OCD is chronic & overtime we learn how to make those voices into background noises. Like I mentioned, my anxiety has improved. Maybe thru habituation or ERP, I can’t tell but I’m ok with it. However, you’re going to have to accept the uncertainty that we’re never going to 100% know what we identify as and be ok with it. It’s a hard pill to swallow.. I’m still working with it. Just be confidence on your identity going into this because it’ll make you feel confused or even in denial. You’re going to have to fight for what you identify as, follow your heart because our minds are “stupid”. It’s going to take practice, I’m still working on it!