cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
WhyMe?WhyMe?
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! When I first started on ERP/therapy back in late September, it would trigger the heck out of me. After doing ERP for almost 3 months, it still triggers me, but it went from a 7-9 to 1 or even 0 now. However, that doesn’t mean that I no longer have intrusive thoughts after seeing/hearing those words.
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
Did you ever worry during ERP that you would find out that your thoughts are true? I just started therapy and got my first exposures assigned to me today and am terrified that they will validate my intrusive thoughts.
WhyMe?WhyMe?
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 Honestly when I first jumped to ERP, I didn’t knew what it was. I literally got a therapist 2 days after I found out what I was experiencing (even though I’ve experienced my first two flares last year). Because I didn’t knew what I was experiencing, besides the fear of women / being a lesbian, the flares didn’t lasted long and I even forgot about it! Starting ERP was a challenge and I didn’t expected it, I was just hoping to get rid of the anxiety.. which it did over time. I’m not going to lie, every now and then, I do regret starting therapy for many reasons but I won’t get to it. However, ERP is a really good tool to help prevent other themes from popping up. I was doing ERP completely wrong for the first month.. which made my theme worst I feel, so it lead to feeling confused even though I know what I identify as. However, it can’t validate your intrusive thoughts as long as you stick with your values. Only you know you the best. ERP will definitely help you control your intrusive thoughts more, don’t be afraid :)
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@WhyMe? Do you feel any relief from your symptoms now? I am so scared that I’ll never get past this and will never be able to find a guy and be happy and in love again.
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@WhyMe? Sorry to bombard you with so many questions, I am just new to all of this and it helps to hear from someone who has a bit of experience.
WhyMe?WhyMe?
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 No worries! Going in, you have to accept that everyone has a different experience. For example, how long one stays in therapy, how long till they find relief and etc. I was also where you were so I understand, I was scared that I’ll forever have these thoughts and feelings threatening my identity and my relationship with my now fiancé. But we have to accept that OCD is chronic & overtime we learn how to make those voices into background noises. Like I mentioned, my anxiety has improved. Maybe thru habituation or ERP, I can’t tell but I’m ok with it. However, you’re going to have to accept the uncertainty that we’re never going to 100% know what we identify as and be ok with it. It’s a hard pill to swallow.. I’m still working with it. Just be confidence on your identity going into this because it’ll make you feel confused or even in denial. You’re going to have to fight for what you identify as, follow your heart because our minds are “stupid”. It’s going to take practice, I’m still working on it!
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah it triggers me rii
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
I meant too
gabi gabi
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. We’re in the same boat. 😞
Angel_Marin16Angel_Marin16
- Date posted
- 3y
Mmmhm
girlanongirlanon
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Anything related to relationships triggers me, regardless of the orientation. You've got this!
Related posts
truetrev
- Date posted
- 22w
Heterosexual OCD
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 16w
Triggered
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
niu
- Date posted
- 15w
SOCD, Real Event, porn
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
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