When you guys have flare ups, do you find it hard to eat? I tend to throw up constantly from the anxiety and completely lose my appetite.

Yes. How are you doing today? I feel like I have had a rough couple of days

Same i just posted about the same and it has been bad.. i wish you strength though:)

I feel like there is too much proof. When I saw females portrayed sexually when I was a kid I had a groinal response. That’s enough proof.

I’d really like to talk to you. Is there some other platform we can communicate, maybe reddit? I totally understand if you don’t want to, and I’d happily stay on here and talk. It’s just a little easier in a message setting!

I have piles upon piles of evidence. Trust me, nothing of yours comes close to mine.

@missbluesky I don’t have Reddit but if we could talk on here that would be great

@missbluesky I have lots of evidence too and it feels too real to not be true like i too dont know what to do?!? Like what am i how am i is my constant questioning…

@OCD33 My evidence is just so bad. It’s so bad.

@missbluesky Its fine all of us are in the same boat one way of the other and one is judging anyone here…you think yours are bad there might be someone else with worse than yours so ig we are all in this together…

@Brave through *no one

@missbluesky It’s funny, we all think we have the most evidence no matter what our theme, we think we are the exception. Yet despite all that evidence we’ve never come a conclusion - maybe it’s time to detach from problem solving mode and get on with activities that bring us joy. I totally sympathise with you - my biggest worry is all the ‘evidence’ I think I have - but my worrying has only ever made me ill .

@Soph This was a great response, thanks so much for taking the time to write it out. I guess my big thing is that if I don’t acknowledge my evidence, how is that not denial? These very clearly gay things have happened in my past (and not just ocd twisting them…they are objectively gay)- how can I just say I’m straight and not be in denial of the truth?

@Brave through No one is judging but that doesn’t change that my evidence is real and objectively gay

@missbluesky Make the decision to not define your sexuality for now as hard as that is - ocd never responds to logic, so even if you decided you were in denial, you might still question it. Then if you decided you weren’t in denial, you would also question it. Clarity might come from distancing yourself from the obsession, day by day. I recovered from HOCD after having it for nearly two years - there were so many things I did whicu I believed were strong proof I was bi or gay, nowadays I don’t think I’m either. I’m still not sure what those things I did mean tbh, maybe sexuality is a spectrum who knows. My new fear is that I’m aromantic, and even though I’ve recovered from so-ocd before, this theme feels as real as before. It’s almost funny.

@Soph My fear is that because I have had HOCD since I was 12 (I’m 20 now) that it means something more than OCD. I will never be free of this.

@Soph I feel like not defining my sexuality automatically makes me part of the LGBTQ+ community. And that makes me feel sick.

@missbluesky Just remember that the anxiety telling you that you NEED to figure it out and prove you’re not in denial is OCD. Put on your big girl pants and have the courage to say not to that urge to figure it out - or if that’s too much just delay the compulsions for a day or so.

@missbluesky I feel like we are very similar. All this “evidence” is killing me. I don’t know what else to do

@Soph Thank you for sharing. How did you recover? Did you have this theme when you were younger?

@missbluesky Hey, I think I’ve also been dealing with this ever since I was 12 and I’m 25 now. I relate, it’s so hard and I’m having a really tough time the past week

@Anonymous I just want to be happy with my boyfriend and stop questioning everything

@Anonymous Wow, for so long i though I was the only one who had it so young. Has yours been on and off since then? Mine was really, really bad when I was 12 and has been on and off since then. Even when it’s “off” though, it’s still sort of in the back of my mind, which really scares me the most.

@Soph You’re right, I need to be a little tough with myself. Thank you for your kind words!

@missbluesky Yeah when I was around that age I started having a terrible fear that I was gay even though I didn’t think I was. I kind of just stomached it for year and was never actually diagnosed with anything but it’s always been in the back of my mind. It came back heavily this past fall (really bad right now) and when I was googling and ruminating I came across SOOCD and was like woah that sounds like what I’ve been dealing with all this time…I haven’t been treated yet though so I’m ruminating a lot right now and having a hard time stopping. I think what brought it on lately was that I had a lesbian dream that I enjoyed and it immediately made me think, Omg am I gay am I living a lie? Even though I have a boyfriend and I’m very happy…anyway, it’s all confusing and hurting me and it’s like I think it’s OCD but then it makes me think I’m in denial..sorry this was a lot

@Anonymous Please don’t apologize I really appreciate you telling me all that. This kind of makes me worry because when I was 12, I really felt like I was gay. I had groinal responses to women and thought it was arousal and now I feel like it was really arousal and I’m just terribly worried. I wish I was like you. I have so, so, SO much evidence that points to me being bisexual.

@missbluesky I thought this too. I thought because I had a physical response I was automatically a lesbian. Not knowing you can have a groinal response from anything

@missbluesky Either way, I think we’re both hurting a lot. I wish it wasn’t the case. Sometimes I think I have a lot of evidence too, but the thought of anything changing in my life is terrifying and makes me so sad, I can’t imagine not being with my boyfriend but this all makes it so hard sometimes to decipher OCD from reality

@Anonymous I also used to have intrusive thoughts about kissing people, like literally anyone, but it always made me especially anxious if it happened with women because I didn’t want that and thought it made me gay. And then OCD makes me want to know for certain what the answer is

@OCD33 I had no idea what groinal responses were, and so I thought that’s what arousal was. I would imagine myself in incredibly graphic sexual scenarios with both women and men to test my feelings, and I’d only ever get a “groinal” from the women. That’s what really drove home the hocd. And now, of course, I feel like that was just me realizing I was gay and that I trained myself to not feel anything for women down there and that’s why I have such bad emotional issues. There truly feels like no other explanation except that I’m a lesbian, or at the very least bisexual.

@missbluesky So yes mine were technically arousal than too! I didn’t know what groinal responses were. I also had my barbies and Sims “kiss”. I also have never looked at a man and been “turned on” just by his looks so that’s even more proof…

Yep

I don’t throw up but I do lose my appetite

Yeah i dont throw up, but it definitely leaves me without an appetite

Hi I was wondering if you could look at my Post and tell Me what you think? I can’t tell what’s what anymore and I’ve been having a horrendous day l

@Bookworm91 Which one?