- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Just because the other women in his life would easily take your place does not mean he himself would replace you with any of them. And has he been diagnosed with avoidant attachment disorder if that’s a disorder but has he been diagnosed properly or are you diagnosing him? He may naturally be a bit of a loner personally I find loaners much more attractive than men who run in groups especially large ones 🤷🏼♀️
- Date posted
- 3y
I had a similar problem when I started dating my current bf. I would get really anxious and sad when he didn't reply or we didn't see another. But I don't have that anymore and I've learned to give him space and be okay with that. It's a process. I think if you communicate it well with him by telling him how you feel you will come a long way. I think breaking up just because not every aspect is perfect isn't going to make you happy in the long run, no one is perfect and no one will be the perfect partner for you. But with that said, if you truly feel unhappy and have tried everyhting then it's your decision to see if that's what you want. If he's not treating you with respect and compassion then you deserve better 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
I also feel when you have anxious attachment you are also likely to have low self esteem and codependency issues, they all function together to make you an anxious mess who is also clingy. Who knows this might not be you but I know when I an feeling extra insecure in myskef it’s when I want him more. The thing is, your partner ir relationship will never make you fully happy and this is the mantra i’m going ti live by now. Imagine hiw you would he without him? How would you cope? If you feel you couldn’t you need to start being more independent
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! I don't think I have a low self esteem problem, also because I know without him I wouldn't have problems to find a new bf, or even to stay by myself. I simply don't like and don't want the idea of loosing him. I feel really good about who I am/become; I would define myself pretty, I like how I look etc. I have a lot of confidence too! But thinking about him, some of his behaviour make me feels like if i'm no one for him, and that probably make me question my values and my self esteem... is that possible? And most important, in that case, should I do something about being confident "even if he does that" or should he stop doing thoose behaviours? (There's no abuse, phisical or insults, sometimes he ignores me/gives more attentions to other women etc)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- Date posted
- 20w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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