- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I get nervous sometimes because I don't want to have bad thoughts about him. I hate it. It makes me so sad.
- Date posted
- 3y
relate to this. stay strong ❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
i used to! i eventually got over it with exposures
- Date posted
- 3y
Was that with ERP? I try to let the thoughts pass through, but sometimes I am so overwhelmed they hang over me like a grey cloud... I don't even actively engage, they just don't stop swirling
- Date posted
- 3y
@AnonOCDsufferer At least for me letting thoughts pass isn't always enough (or I'm not good at it) I find actively doing exposures way better than trying to accept things
- Date posted
- 3y
@k-low Thank you for sharing. I'll give this a go
- Date posted
- 3y
It's so interesting to read these types of comments when I'm in a phase of low anxiety. I have had (still sometimes have) the same exact thoughts. But when someone else writes about it I find it so obvious and clear that it's OCD and what needs to be done, but when it comes to myself it's like "wait but it's probably not OCD right now, it's true" and then I freak out about that. Very weird. But you got this! Keep doing ERP I think it can be tough when we thing "oh I don't know if this feels like OCD" but honestly that questions itself is a compulsion. Bc in the rare occasions I actually feel an unpleasant emotions that's not driven by OCD i don't even think about questioning it, it just happens.
- Date posted
- 3y
I find that for myself to! It's always easier to see it in someone else! You are right, me posing that question could be a compulsion. That is the same for me, if its proportionate to how I logically feel, I don't question it.
- Date posted
- 3y
I experience similar. When I first did my 12 sessions I felt so good, my ROCD started to be background noise. But after some exterior stressors and triggers, it’s coming back and making me analyze every feeling I have around my fiancé and any intimate moment I’m not feeling like I think I should be. It’s awful and makes it so hard to look forward to time together. I just wish ocd wouldn’t attack the people and relationships we care about.
- Date posted
- 3y
I am so sorry you have till deal with that. I understand what you mean. It makes it hard to know what you are actually feeling because you constantly think about how you think you should feel and test it against how you actually feel, which I feel psyches me out and I end up feeling more negative, fulfilling the prophecy the thoughts set. I wish it would stay away from loved ones too!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 16w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 13w
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
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