PinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
I think pretty just depends on the person like I’m not bi I’m just saying that they’re plenty of pretty guys that are still masculine you know what I mean? Male beauty 🤤
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah ofc, I’m just hyper focusing on the female aspect of it rn
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Yeah I get you. I just had the most disgusting thought with an even more concerning reaction. I was wondering if I could share what’s going on in my head right now. I don’t want to make your day worse because you’ve been really nice to me there’s a lot of people here that are nice actually. But I just got yelled at like an hour or so ago by my mom saying all your OCD is fake and she’s throwing everything in my face she’s one of those people that when she’s mad at you she’ll throw your mistakes in your face at least she does that to me. And I was just I really need someone to talk to and I’m scared because it’s probably really fucking triggering and it’s long simply because a lot of my entries are like an hour and a half two hours apart you know so it’s like something that’s going on like throughout the day. But I really need some help and I feel bad for bugging people I feel like I bother people here and I don’t want to
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Um…hello? Is that a no? It’s cool if it is but I’m kinda dying over here 😓
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 No it’s okay! Of course you can vent, I just went to play video games with some friends
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus Oh ok thanks
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Sorry I’m going to respond as soon as we stop playing
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 You definitely don’t bother and I’m truly sorry your mom said something so cruel to you. She doesn’t determine what you do or don’t have, if you didn’t have it you wouldn’t have these crippling thoughts and obsessions all day long. Hang in there ❤️
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@PinkLotus I absolutely HATE doing this. But I’m desperate. So very desperate TW Why can’t I have peace!? I imagine flirting with my guy and saying I’m not gonna look on your phone I will not look at a HETEROSEXUAL guys phone and I’m scared there was a strong curiosity my brain like I do and I’m scared it was and I don’t want it to be positive or prove that I am I’m not bisexual I don’t wanna look at boobs. I’m serious proves I am but I don’t wanna gay or bi I don’t want to be changing. Am I? I’m scared of how happy I felt and that curiosity and how it was I don’t want it to be positive anymore I’ve seen boobs plenty I don’t like it and I don’t want that to change! And I’m like why am I feeling like that in the back of my head I know I don’t like girls they’re not pretty in that capacity and I don’t like boobs that I’m scared they are I don’t like the ring around the nipples I don’t like boobs I don’t want them to become something positive! I don’t like the way to stick out I don’t wanna do what guys and babies do! I’m scared I must be and I said nothing wrong with that I’m not bisexual I don’t give a damn with her or not there’s nothing wrong with it I said I don’t care about liking but I like boys not both I don’t have boobs to be a thing for me so why did I feel like that when I was imagining flirting with him I’m scared that it wasn’t sure when I said that I don’t I’m scared that positive I don’t want to be positive I’m scared I am shifting and I do I don’t wanna look at boobs I don’t want to be a positive curiosity I’m scared because I need myself looking naked women along time ago and I called them but they’re not hot I’m scared approved but I don’t wanna be bisexual I keep saying I can help if I want to want to be by I want boys not boobs and I said that but that they’re but they’re not better boys are I’m scared I said I finally but I don’t feel like it I don’t want to understand what guys feel about boobs and I keep doing this motion with my hand like I do I act like I welcome I don’t welcome it I don’t want the warm weight of boobs in my hand or my mouth I don’t want boobs I hate this so much I’m really scared it’s real but I do wanna keep nodding deeply boys are better I don’t like boobs and I just get a mask but I don’t want except I’m not bisexual I don’t like boobs what’s going on I hope this has something to do with a muscle relaxer I took Flexeril and I have a shot of tequila less than half a shot but still I’m scared it’s really serious and I’m done I am I don’t want to be in and out I said I want to but I don’t wanna live that life I’m not bisexual I don’t wanna be me if that’s what it is I’m not bisexual
kosmokosmo
- Date posted
- 3y
i feel u, everytime i make a fake scenario in my head it's like in a man's pov. girls are pretty especially feminine clothes but i don't want to be with a girl (romantically/sexually)
PinkLotusPinkLotus
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup it’s just the worst
Related posts
Anonymousesti
- Date posted
- 23w
SOOCD
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 22w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
Anonymousssssss
- Date posted
- 20w
Can someone please offer words of advice :(
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
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