Okkk! So basically, part of me has accepted that I might be bi, and I’m ok with that because it’s not the worse thing ever. A few of my friends are bi, and being bi ultimately means I can love a wider range of people, which is great. So I don’t mind if I am. However I really really don’t wanna be a lesbian, and today I’ve had thoughts about being one. I’ve suddenly loss all attraction to guys which sucks. I feel like this is HOCD, but how do I know for sure if I don’t mind being bi?

Don’t worry! I’m a bi girl with OCD and let me tell you - attraction is funny! It works in strange ways. But I promise you that sudden loss of feeling attracted to guys was your OCD. Just breathe and remember as long as you WANT to be attracted to guys, and you know deep down you have been - then you are. The thing about labels is that you get to decide what label you want to use. If gay doesn’t feel right (which if it’s giving you anxiety, I promise it doesn’t) then you’re not gay! End of story :)

You’re probably not fully accepting the fact that you could be a lesbian if you’re still afraid of it then. Acceptance of bi is a start.

It’s such a complicated thing. Trust me when I say I understand. My advice would be to try and shift your attention to the positive aspect of this! Discovering you’re bi can be super fun. There’s a really beautiful community out there who will welcome you, and I’m so proud of and happy for you for realizing!

Awwww. Thank you again! I don’t fear being bi at all which is great. I guess I do fear that calling myself bi is just the first step to gay because I’m in denial or something. But it’s nice to know that I’m accepted by such nice people like you!

I think I have HOCD and this is all brand new to me even these thoughts, I’m confused as to why this happened and what’s going on. I question everything about myself now and second guess everything

Yeah, because that is called arousal non concordance, and don’t worry, women get it more with sexual stimuli they aren’t actually into, even more than men. I read that women get aroused in combination with what they actually are into only 10% of the time. But anything that’s sexual, even if it’s two women having sex and they don’t want that, they can still feel aroused.

How do you know that you are bisexual?

Of course! I know we don’t know each other at all but I’m very well versed in both the bi community and my OCD experience. If you ever need any help or have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. Idk if there’s a way to dm on here, but we can figure it out and if you ever need support, I’ve got you. This must be a very complicated and confusing time because OCD makes literally everything complicated and confusing.

Hey. Have you been having thoughts about being the opposite sexuality?

Yes and it’s really weird. I’ve never been attracted to males in any way, have never gotten erect from a man and have never fantasized about being with one

KBright, that’s so great to know, and I’ll let you know if I ever need some help and once again, thank you! I still don’t complete know if I’m bi or not because the idea of not liking guys is scary as heck, but I don’t mind being able to love EVERYONE, ya know?

AFord15 that sounds like HOCD, especially since it’s just come out of nowhere!

Yea I’ve overnanalyzed everything and I’ve read so many denial and coming out stories and none have any consistencies to my background. I’ve never thought I was different from my friends and have always crushed on girls since I was small. I’ve never watched gay porn on anything. But for some reason I can’t rid myself of this thought that I’m gay or I’ve suddenly changed or been this way all my life.

I fear that I’m conditioning my mind to be ok with it and I will eventually be gay or be attracted to men

Emilia1234, thankyou! I’ve never actually been attracted to girls before so maybe I’m not bi haha. I think I find boobs attractive, but don’t really have sexual fantasies about girls. In the past I’ve only ever liked guys, but I guess I wanted to be bi so that I could accept HOCD. But now I’m scared I am bi because I don’t want to stop liking guys! Wow my brain is annoying.

Someone just flagged me for “reassurance seeking.” ONCE AGAIN. Done with this app, goodbye.

Oh I hate that!

Kbright, hey I know it’s been a while but can I have some help?

I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with a girl or even had a crush on a girl. But I find boobs attractive, and I think they might arouse me. Nothing else on a woman though. Does this make me bi?

@Eden, I’ve read that, I think around 98% of women, experience sexual arousal towards other womens bodies at some point. So all women are basically a small percentage of bisexual, even if they identify as straight. It’s normal, and it’s how the female brain works. Men who identify as straight do not usually experience the same thing towards other men though. Look it up.

Or maybe don’t if you’re paranoid.

Thanks! It’s just weird because boobs themselves (with clothes on) don’t necessarily turn me on, but the naked body would. But nothing else on a woman. I’m glad it’s more normal than I thought though!

I was probably mistaken with that study. What is actually more relevant that I found out after posting, is a term called “arousal non concordance.” You know the groinal syndrome with OCD? Those unwanted sensations in the groin are actually very common in general, even without OCD. Even things that are just sexual in nature without you liking it, can set off arousal. This is because your body and your mind are separate in this area.

Yeah, I guess it just doesn’t really feel like the groinal syndrome with this. Of course it makes me anxious, but they aroused me even before my OCD was present.

Yeah I guess. I’m not too anxious about it, as long as it means I’m not gay. I just don’t want to lose my attraction towards guys!