I really need advice asap. There's this one friend I have and we're really close. We text everyday and have for the past two years. But lately, she's been just... Annoying me. IDK everything she does annoys me. It's probably something on me too, a reflection of myself. While texting and in person. I tell her about my ocd (which, yeah, I talk about a lot) and she changes the subject to her ADHD a lot (not always). She's a lesbian while I'm straight and whenever I try to talk to her about boys she's like BUT GIRLS. She says that she wants to change and create habits and get off her butt but she says she can't and doesn't try (says her ADHD won't let her do it?). She says she wants to be spontaneous and have crazy energy in our last years of high school but she won't go out (I know she isn't an extrovert but she says she wants to be spontaneous but won't do anything unless it's extensively planned in advance.) IDK what to do anymore. I love her a lot but I just am so annoyed with her. It's probably on me, getting annoyed with her. It's kind of like I want better for her but she won't work for it (for example, she got mad at me when I asked (yes, multiple times) to come to church with me and watch me play piano (becuase she wouldn't play piano herself tho I needed her help). She said she would, the night before said hey I need to sleep in and I said okay. The next morning was daylight savings and a short service (kids Sunday) and I was like OH THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT DAY FOR YOU TO COME and she went off on me and I felt horrible) I don't know what I should do or how to bring it up to her if I decide to take a break from her or our friendship. Please help asap!? I kind of feel bad for even writing this. It's probably on me.

Not directly OCD related, but: The therapist I will be talking to is not yet my official therapist and to keep a long story as short as possible: I’m from Germany, you usually get 1-2 sessions without “signing a contract” to see if you get along, I haven’t signed yet because I honestly want a different therapist but I also don’t want to wait 6 months and this will already be my 4th session with her. This time, me and my best friend will both attend at the same time since we’ve had ongoing and reoccurring issues for the past 6 months in our friendship, including confusing romantic feelings on my behalf and an overall misunderstanding and misinterpretation of each others feelings towards each other. We both recently graduated and she already knows what university she will be attending (somewhat pretty far away from mine) and even if I wanted to I most likely can’t live near her or attend the same uni. I don’t know how to explain this, but I have been grieving part of our friendship for the past year and the first time I felt like something was off was about 1 1/2 years ago. We haven’t been friends for that long (about 2 1/2 years) but we became very close friends very quickly and I do not want to lose her. However, I do feel like she has changed. Not personality wise but in her attitude towards emotions and friendship? We used to talk so much more and everything felt happier in the beginning as it does now. Obviously our friendship has had its hardships in the last 6 months (she liked/likes(?) a boy, I liked/like(?) her, she used to like be but only in the beginning of our friendship) but I miss our conversations and picknicks and just hanging out with her like normal. We also hat a time in which we didn’t talk to each other for almost 2 months and NOTHING about this made anything easier. I’m genuinely trying to detach myself from her like she did with me but nothing works. Last week we had our high school grad ceremony and we danced and when I held her hands to guide her through the people dancing, I felt those stupid butterflies again and I genuinely don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t even befriend now her if we were strangers, but we made so many memories and I hate change and graduating, moving away from ALL of my friends and losing the best friend I ever had is too much for me. I get so jealous thinking about how she is going to met new friends at uni and finding a partner and forgetting about me. And I don’t know how to say any of this tomorrow because my therapist honestly doesn’t seem to care about anything I say and neither does my friend. Everytime I say that I feel like there is an issue we need to solve or talk about she just shakes it off. I feel helpless.

Im having issues with seeing my girlfriend as a good person, good girlfriend to me, idk. To be fair I do love her, but it feels like she's just so irresponsible. Which is ironic because she's older than me (1 year). She's just such a slob. I feel terrible for saying that but she's been so depressed and all and is ALWAYS finding a way to procrastinate cleaning her room, there are bugs and food and clothes everywhere it's an absolute mess and I pretend not to care but it grosses me the fuck out. It's been worse lately because she was given too much estrogen (she's transgender) and it can cause relapses in depression if the dose is too high, which is was the past month but she's tapering off now. I know I'm only 17 but I think about what it'd be like to date other women post college as an adult, cisgender women, black and brown women, non autistic women and more femme women. Women who got their shit together if that makes sense. I feel awful for saying all of thay because I still love her. I want to go to university, mostly online to finish my ITP and get my asl interpreting license (woohoo!) But she's doesn't even try in school. She's ALWAYS. Been like that. She wants to go to community College for business and marketing but refuses to get her shit together. I've talked about this dozens, hundreds of times this summer because she's a senior now. It's not just depression anymore I feel like. All she does is talk about weed, watch South park, and watch porn. Listen, nobody's perfect, but I never knew she would turn into this. I don't want to break up with her because I have genuine hope she can change or mature as she tapers off estrogen, but I'm still not sure. I love her, I want her to grow into the beautiful, amazing young woman she's destined to be, but if she's not even gonna try then it's useless to hope. I don't know. I'm so confused. Someone please give advice- we've dated for almost 2 years now with minimal problems, I feel so guilty for even thinking about this

Ok...so I need help navigating a relationship I have. I met this guy in trade school bc he kept following me around to talk to me and so we became friends and we kept in contact after leaving the school. He occasionally visits for a few hours maybe a few times a year and most of our interactions are over text. That's essentially all the necessary background. 2 problems 1. This person once had feelings for me, which I did not return because I just didn't feel the same way. He jokingly called me cruel because of it and one of my loved ones even joked that I was racist for rejecting him. Now I can't stop thinking about those things, even though I'm 80% sure they weren't serious. I know I'm not cruel for not having caught feelings for him, and I was extremely careful to let him down as gently as possible and as soon as possible so as not to give false hope. I also know that his race was not the reason I didn't catch feelings. Regardless, these comments still stick in my head. 2. This person is draining to me unintentionally. Our senses of humor kind of clash and our conversations are stiff and awkward because we have little in common and can rarely find things to talk together about that aren't sad or about our relationships with people who treated us poorly. It doesn't feel natural even after years of talking. He doesn't seem to understand me half the time but will pretend to and I've noticed I avoid starting conversations with him when we're not in person, so neither of us are perfect to one another. Major views of ours are also conflicting as well, as in, I am not exactly accepted around this person as a non-binary person, and this person defends those who want my rights taken from me. This is political, and I don't like to break relationships over politics, but it ads this undercurrent of tension. This person is also often taking risks and getting into accidents, so even more stress there in worrying about his safety. Every time we talk, I feel a pit of anxiety in my stomach and I worry I'll hear of another accident. I have trouble understanding him and he has trouble understanding me as well. We both struggle to communicate with frequent misunderstandings and I'm unsure why. It stresses me out when I struggle to read his meanings and tone and because of that, I particularly misunderstand him a lot, especially over text. His levels of sarcasm and irony are often too advanced for me to interpret and so I don't know when he's joking vs when he's serious vs when he's upset. Because I have so much trouble telling his emotions and he's not the type of person you really open up to about stuff like that, it's hard to navigate so I get very stressed and anxious never knowing if my responses are socially appropriate to the mood of the conversation. This is really frustrating, because from what it seems, he's a great person and there is no reason why we shouldn't be friends. He's different from me and interesting and tells great stories that make for thoughtful conversations to follow, yet I often wish he would never contact me because of the stress, and that he would not like to visit me or leave sooner, and that makes me feel really evil and a terrible friend. Right now I feel like I'm talking behind his back too. It feels bad. And now my OCD wants to tell me that not only am I a bad friend and person for this, but also racist, because a friend put that idea in my head after I rejected his romantic advance. Idk how to feel about this and what to do moving forward. Why does being friends with him stress me out so much? I only ever felt this way with one other person, but that was in highschool, and because the person was extremely high energy and extroverted while I'm very much not. This guy is not as extremely extroverted. Just a risk-taker who likes to poke fun a lot and confuse people for giggles. Idk. I want to stay friends because he's done nothing wrong, and he's a good guy, but it's draining and overwhelming.