ROCD related: I’m currently in a new relationship but not as joyous as Id like to be. I keep looking back at a crush I had prior to this relationship where I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere for obvious reasons, and so despite how strong my likeness was for them I was seemingly very willing to let it go as soon as I met this other person. However, ever since any sort of commitment has become a factor, I can help but deal with thoughts telling me that despite I like the person I’m with now more in the moment I’m in now, it’s not a strong as the crush I had with the other person prior. You see, this has been going on all along to where it’s not fair considering it’s blocked myself from the opportunity of truly knowing how much I like the person I’m with now. But instead, all I do is compare how there’s someone in the past that I’ve liked more and that I liked them in a way that’s stronger in which I don’t see present in my current relationship. This causes me to feel distressed, because I really just want to appreciate my current relationship. After all, the person I’m with is everything I could ask for. I just want to enjoy her and focus solely on her. I also am aware that for as long as these things bother me, I wonder be able to discover how much I truly like her, all this does is put me in a place where I feel like I’m trying to force and manufacture my own feelings.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.

did anyone else have their rocd kick in overdrive when picking between two partners, i adore my bf and our relationship is great, but then another guy confessed his love for me while i'm with my bf, this other guy is fun but seems like bad news (i will never know for sure tho) it causes me so much distress because now i'm constantly thinking about the what if's and how life would be different if i had gone with the other guy even tho im happy with my bf now, so disheartening bc now i feel like im being ungrateful and can't fully enjoy the good im familiar with now without my brain being like: "but what if something bigger awaits me and im missing out?" "what if im not meant to live a peaceful life with a good guy?" "what if i miss the bad?" "maybe im not meant to be here" "what if i'm settling?" "what if i regret not living my 20's to the fullest?" these thoughts are the loudest when i'm bored, or stuck in routine, yk when life gets mundane, and my rocd has made it so that i don't have energy for much else, im too exhausted to do hobbies or school or anything really, im so lost, i dont really know how to find myself while also being in a relationship at the same time, idk how to balance that well, but i want to do both: be with my boyfriend and live a life i crave I crave a spontaneous life, somewhere in a walkable place, partying and exploring new places, traveling the world, meeting new people, adrenaline pumping through my veins, with a group of friends who also love the thrill, (what sucks is that the other guy brought that adventurous side of me out, and now that i cut him off idk how to bring her out again) and i'd like to think in this life i love my career and know what it is, a career that feels fulfilling , AND know that i have my sweet bf there with me, of course this stuff takes time so like my rocd wants me to somehow make one decision to make this all happen faster but its not how it works, anxiety is funny like that its not actually about the other guy, because I feel like i'd be this way with any partner, always thinking about the what ifs that come with rocd, when really i just want my current bf because this is real love and not a "maybe" or an "if", i just miss feeling alive, im just so scared of living an unfulfilling life, thought that a good relationship is like what makes you fulfilled, and it has changed my life in a good way tremendously, but i must need something else as well, i hope to find it, whatever it is