- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I would always try to figure out if other women were gay, but I’m not sure if it was too avoid them or compare my story with theirs or whatever reason, which makes me nervous.
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry I don’t want this to make you nervous! I actually have multiple friends who identify as lesbian and I love them so much, but never wanted to like be with them. But I’m thinking back to high school now where there were girls who people suspected might be gay and I would be like nervous around them because I was scared they would make me gay…idk it was weird and feels like terrible to admit. I think the fear came into my mind because of some movies and TV shows that had this trope that a lesbian would turn a straight girl gay..and it instilled so much fear in me that “what if that happened to me” …so idk I’m just venting and trying to figure all this out which I guess I probably shouldn’t do if this is OCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous No, don’t apologize! It made me nervous before you said anything. It’s almost like I check to see if women are gay, and if they’re straight, I feel relieved. If they’re gay, I’m panicked. I don’t understand why.
- Date posted
- 3y
@missbluesky I wish I could just stop trying to understand all of this and just live life the way I want to authentically
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I do this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 18w
I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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