I had one question in mind if just anyone person could tell me something about it…..has it ever happened to you that you start visualising the same sex thoughts and they feel too normal like i earlier used to have them with guys but since ocd a woman also will pop up as like some kind of possibility idk if i am making sense but its like i imagine something with the guy suddenly it could also be a women like something telling me that too could be some possibility and i think of it so naturally that it actually feels like and i have the ocd theme realted to being bi so if i have such thoughts about guys and also suddenly a girl pops up isn't that some kind of evidence telling my its denial and not ocd cause the possibility and the thoughts feel so real and just me saying all this that there is a possibility could also potentially mean something right??! Also when on days i am normal and i still have these thoughts and don’t really do about it much it makes it easier to believe its not ocd and denial cause i am not panicking and then i force myself to post cause that then feels normal according to how ocd should be but if i force myself to post how is it ocd knowing its a lie and i am forcing?!!

I was watching a video right now of this girl who quite pretty and has a bf but like out of all of the girls I would notice her more and I don’t even think this sounds okay coming from a straight woman but its like i notice her and then have thoughts like oh she’s pretty why does she have a bf?!? Like why would i get that thought and also like out all of the videos i saw hers only and then thought she is like pretty to date and like that felt too real and normal like I would say about a guy and like had thoughts like oh can’t date her she has a bf and these thoughts we’re not feeling intrusive like what does that mean? And if i am getting these thoughts i should panic amd close the video as a compulsion if its ocd but I didn’t and continued to watch it and i feel like writing this post too is just a forced compulsion cause i scared or whatever and why do i sometimes start agreeing to ocd or defending my denial and not ocd like I believe its denial more than ocd when i should be screaming and saying no its ocd and not denial and the thoughts that i had just felt so natural like I don’t know if they are real or not?!? Like where am i supposed to go from here and what can i do?!? And thoughts like dating her just seem non ocd cause ocd is as i have heard not imagining or fanaticising emotional things and this did feel something dk what but something and soocd is usually sexual intrusive thoughts w/o emotions so what were mine is this even ocd?!?

@Brave through Sometimes I get these SOOCD thoughts but they come with no anxiety and I don’t avoid looking at them that much and that is normal , sometimes I got a voice screaming in my head stuff like “ what if “ or even “ you are in denial “ , and that alone makes me really annoyed , you’re clearly desperate and I truly believe that you have SOOCD , you’re not happy with your thoughts , I had my attraction towards the opposite sex diminshed as well , and sometimes it scares me that the possibility of kissing someone of the same sex isn’t too much anxiety provoking but I don’t want this , I know that I don’t want

@2022Recovery I am genuinely just exhausted rn cause I constantly think what if I didn’t write all this like sometimes my brain tells me i am forcing all this and if I didn’t people ir even i would never know would that been true and caused me to accept it? Would i have and been okay with it!!? And when you say i know I don’t want it i used to say that earlier but the what ifs never end and my brain is so foggy and that anything for sure is always questioned as what if you want and then I don’t believe the statement i know I don’t when I should be idk if i am even making sense…

@Brave through I know exactly how annoying this whole questioning , analyzing , avoidance , this whole process , I know how exhausting it is because I am going through the same , I was better for a week but now I feel worse

@2022Recovery Same i am exhausted and tired too of feeling the similar way and idk what to do usually I don't notice the same sex at all when i am out but if sometimes i do as I notice the opposite sex my brain tells me and my confused heart and emotions too that you noticed her the same way you did him and there's no difference lime whats the difference line that mean you're bi and just in denial cause it's difficult to tell as you noticed them the similar way….. like what and where is the difference and this feels so real to deny like i don't know then what to even do.

@Brave through I have the same feelings and this is all so debilitating, I hope you can find some comfort in the future

@2022Recovery I wish the same for you may we all have a better and mentally healthy recovering next year:)

@Brave through I hope so , this last part of the year felt so bad but I hope I can recover from it

@2022Recovery We are all in this together and we will defeat it and become more stronger