- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Sometimes it’s normal to have these thoughts and don’t have the anxiety anymore and it isn’t because of how much anxiety they are giving you right now that makes the thought seem more real , don’t worry about it , if you need someone to talk , you can to me , I’m a straight man and all this stuff is getting complicated for me as well
- Date posted
- 3y
I was watching a video right now of this girl who quite pretty and has a bf but like out of all of the girls I would notice her more and I don’t even think this sounds okay coming from a straight woman but its like i notice her and then have thoughts like oh she’s pretty why does she have a bf?!? Like why would i get that thought and also like out all of the videos i saw hers only and then thought she is like pretty to date and like that felt too real and normal like I would say about a guy and like had thoughts like oh can’t date her she has a bf and these thoughts we’re not feeling intrusive like what does that mean? And if i am getting these thoughts i should panic amd close the video as a compulsion if its ocd but I didn’t and continued to watch it and i feel like writing this post too is just a forced compulsion cause i scared or whatever and why do i sometimes start agreeing to ocd or defending my denial and not ocd like I believe its denial more than ocd when i should be screaming and saying no its ocd and not denial and the thoughts that i had just felt so natural like I don’t know if they are real or not?!? Like where am i supposed to go from here and what can i do?!? And thoughts like dating her just seem non ocd cause ocd is as i have heard not imagining or fanaticising emotional things and this did feel something dk what but something and soocd is usually sexual intrusive thoughts w/o emotions so what were mine is this even ocd?!?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Sometimes I get these SOOCD thoughts but they come with no anxiety and I don’t avoid looking at them that much and that is normal , sometimes I got a voice screaming in my head stuff like “ what if “ or even “ you are in denial “ , and that alone makes me really annoyed , you’re clearly desperate and I truly believe that you have SOOCD , you’re not happy with your thoughts , I had my attraction towards the opposite sex diminshed as well , and sometimes it scares me that the possibility of kissing someone of the same sex isn’t too much anxiety provoking but I don’t want this , I know that I don’t want
- Date posted
- 3y
@2022Recovery I am genuinely just exhausted rn cause I constantly think what if I didn’t write all this like sometimes my brain tells me i am forcing all this and if I didn’t people ir even i would never know would that been true and caused me to accept it? Would i have and been okay with it!!? And when you say i know I don’t want it i used to say that earlier but the what ifs never end and my brain is so foggy and that anything for sure is always questioned as what if you want and then I don’t believe the statement i know I don’t when I should be idk if i am even making sense…
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I know exactly how annoying this whole questioning , analyzing , avoidance , this whole process , I know how exhausting it is because I am going through the same , I was better for a week but now I feel worse
- Date posted
- 3y
@2022Recovery Same i am exhausted and tired too of feeling the similar way and idk what to do usually I don't notice the same sex at all when i am out but if sometimes i do as I notice the opposite sex my brain tells me and my confused heart and emotions too that you noticed her the same way you did him and there's no difference lime whats the difference line that mean you're bi and just in denial cause it's difficult to tell as you noticed them the similar way….. like what and where is the difference and this feels so real to deny like i don't know then what to even do.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I have the same feelings and this is all so debilitating, I hope you can find some comfort in the future
- Date posted
- 3y
@2022Recovery I wish the same for you may we all have a better and mentally healthy recovering next year:)
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I hope so , this last part of the year felt so bad but I hope I can recover from it
- Date posted
- 3y
@2022Recovery We are all in this together and we will defeat it and become more stronger
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
- Date posted
- 14w
Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.
- Date posted
- 13w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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