MAJOR ED/EATING TRIGGER WARNING
I think my OCD has given me an eating disorder but I don’t want to say it’s true (also not asking for people to diagnose me either, just wondering if people feel the same). I’ve researched a lot, but the most part seems to talk about weight, and that’s not the thing that I’m afraid of.
I’ll put another warning here because I don’t want people to be triggered by what I’ll say.
I won’t go into detail as again I don’t want to inadvertently distress someone but my contamination and health OCD makes it extremely hard to eat.
I think I have an ED, but now I’m thinking it might be my OCD telling me that I have one. The thoughts are so confusing. What thoughts are mine? What thoughts are my OCD?
Obviously something is wrong, because I know that I’m a terrible eater, plus every now and then I get dizzy and often feel like I’m going to pass out. Last time it happened was yesterday, I fell straight forward into a door, and it’s happened again today where my mum said I was extremely pale and I had to lay down just so I didn’t lose consciousness.
I feel like it’s ironic how things like this is what my OCD tries to avoid, but it makes it happen anyway.
I think it’s a mixture of extreme distress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, malnutrition; just all of the above that’s making it feel like my body is actively working against me. If I didn’t lay down just now, I would most likely be conked out on the floor.
Don’t know what I even want to ask with this post. All my confused thoughts are distressing me and everything feels like it’s going wrong. It just feels as if I’m always going backwards and can’t manage on my own no matter the amount of help that I receive.