- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
The guilty feelings is once again another tactic ocd uses to get you stuck. Don't trust the guilt and this is another tactic for the ocd to get you to do your compulsions and feel like you've done something wrong. Don't take the thoughts serious Say in a funny way- ya ok ocd! IiI Don't negotiate with terrorists Thoughts are just thoughts Do not ruminate Oh I just had a thought who cares!! I am not noticing the content of the thoughts. This is meaningless When what if comes in treat it as ocd Make fun of the ocd thought Make a game out of it! Get excited to feel the anxiety. You get to practice your skills!! You can't get me no.matter who you are! I'm not listening to this anymore I want to get back the life I used to have!! To get my life back I have to be uncertain and go toward the anxiety Be courageous! Get up and do your steps and the results will be good Hey come on give me your best shot!! You wanna take me down then take me down! I'm taking my life back! If you wanna get me you go ahead sucker, I'm going forward! Don't use the first thought and the anxiety as a gage or the guilt as a gage. These are the things ocd uses to dominate you! But remember we are not playing the ocds game, we are playing ours! If you are aware of a situation you will be confronted with, prepare yourself as to how you are going to act! Ex-girlfriend kids walking near me- I won't move. Or I'm going to pass something between two people, I'm not going to freak out and I'm going to just to it! Gooooooddddd I want to be anxious! I want to be scared! I want to be uncertain! I'm going for this! I can do this! Accept it As an OCD moment. Don't accept it based on the content Yep but I love my wife and she is the best thing ever! I've had enough I'm not doing this anymore. Who cares if ocd tries coming from a different angle. I'm not paying attention anymore! We need to follow the protocol when these issues come up. Not focus on oh did I do something wrong I've made a mistake. No we want to do our protocol. It will never get better if you dont do the protocol. You will always feel anxious Will doing this lead me closer to recovery or further? We don't want to pay attention to the symptoms of ocd. We want to change the way we respond. If it gives you extreme guilt then it's ocd! Your ocd always surrounds the feelings of guilt! Don't buy into it! YOU PROMISED YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD NOT GIVE INTO OCD! KEEP YOUR PROMISE!DO YOUR STEPS! IF NOT FOR YOU THEN FOR HER!! Winning strategy Don't pay attention to the content. Content is useless When the obsession pops up accept that you just had an obsession. Don't accept that you may have inappropriately touched some one. Accept that you just had a doubt that came up it's fine that's just my ocd producing a fearful doubt. I expect that. This is normal Want to make yourself uncertain! Ocd wants us to be certain but to beat it you need to be uncertain! We want to stay anxious
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey! Just wanted to give you a little encouragement. Everyone feels it's so real and everyone feels that the thoughts mean something but they really don't. Of course your mind is gonna be full of these thoughts! You keep giving your ocd something o grab hold of. But if for thirty days you decided nope I don't care what the ocd tells me I'm moving forward then the mind will let go. But you have to give it that chance to do that
- Date posted
- 6y
These are sayings you can use when you are anxious. Some of them don't make sense cause they are specific to my needs haha but if you need any clarification on any just ask!
- Date posted
- 6y
It feels like it will go on forever, it’s been everyday all day for over 30 days straight. I can’t break free from it. I can’t even go to the gym or do things I normally would do. It wouldn’t bother me this much if it wasn’t real I feel like. Maybe it’s fate. I could have thoughts tomorrow that I’m a killer and it wouldn’t sit with me for 30 days. I don’t get myself.
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s hard not to doubt yourself when your mind constantly runs and you feel sick. If everytime you think about a woman you think about a man yea I’d say it might make you question yourself and why it’s happening. That type of stuff doesn’t just happen at least not with me
- Date posted
- 6y
But in reality that happens to everyone with ocd..this happened to me and it made me think crazy thoughts but when I did my steps it got way better and now (cause I didn't give it validation) it's clear it's OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
What were your steps?
- Date posted
- 6y
Ok I'll send you an entire list. Cause over the years I added a ton. Most are from a PHD and the others are from another PhD guy. So it's legit
- Date posted
- 6y
@aford15 I could have written your posts myself! Trust me, I know how hard it is, and how completely and utterly real it feels. I also understand the urge to just give up. I’m having similar feelings of exhaustion and defeat now, except with ROCD. Just now that you are not alone in your OCD, and that there is hope! Hardest thing you’ll ever do, but just try to let it be. We can’t let OCD rule our lives! Take a risk, accept that certainty is not a currency we work in, and keep going. It will all be okay :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve never struggled with OCD before as much as I can remember. I feel like Im grabbing ahold of it to make myself feel better like a cop out. There are people who have been struggling with this for years. I have no idea why it happened or where it came from but everything got turned on it’s head. I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I’m in mental trances half the day that seem real. My mind goes but “I’m gay” to “you want to be gay” to “you’re not attracted to women anymore”. I want to beat it but I just don’t know if it’s life trying to turn on it’s head. Maybe after all these years I’m having a sexuality crisis. I’ve never struggled with this before but my mind is trying to make me like men. I can’t force myself to be sexually attracted to men but still it doesn’t care, it zaps all my sexual attraction for women and the moment I fantasize about a woman it intrusively inserts images of a man. I still have dreams of women but when I wake up the shit is hell.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
- Date posted
- 20w
First I want to start off with, as a kid, my brother touched me inappropriately, I watched him do the same with my cousin, than later on I did the same to my cousin. I feel great shame for it and I have yet to forgive myself. Now, since than 10 years later, I have always loved women, fantasized about women, constantly prayed to have one and do things to be with one 1 day. I struggled with porn a lot as a kid because I was shown it at such a young age. I remember first watching lesbian porn, than moving to guy and girl, than countdowns, etc. I was so hooked that it took an identity crisis to end this porn addiction. (I have only been sober for 3 weeks.) Now I only mention this because I think my porn addiction somewhat ruined me, same way as what I did in the past did. A year ago, I started to talk to a childhood crush I had, and things felt so great. We started to get along but I knew all I wanted to do was have sex and move on as wrong as that is. I ended up falling in love with her and asked her to be my girl. 9 months in, we were having constant arguments and she had this problem where she couldn’t give me a break. We were with each other 24/7 and it felt like dealing with a sister at some point. I remember talking to my friends and asking them what would they do and they always advised me to leave but I was not willing to because I knew I loved her and the way I was feeling was temporary and couples argue. Couple weeks in, I started to have these thoughts that we weren’t going to work out and that I no longer found her attractive. I kinda ignored them because it simply wasn’t true, I still found her attractive and would get hard ons for her yet, I still had this mindset that, “Oh, there’s other hotter girls” and, “Your ex looked so much better.” and I couldn’t stop these thoughts. One day I randomly woke up and remembered what I did as a kid, my whole world felt like it flipped. The thoughts were now, “what if you don’t like her because you’re secretly gay?”. I first laughed at the thought because of how ridiculous it sounded, but than it just kept going. Two weeks from a cycle of unwanted thoughts (1st stage of my ocd), I finally got over the thought with simple toughness and determination, I did lots of research on what was going on with me and went with the, “thoughts are just thoughts” method. I was doing well until we watch a netflix documentary “American Murder: Gabby Petito” and all of a sudden my mind began to think, “What if I’m secretly a psychopath and want to kill my gf?”. For about a week straight, It’s all I was able to think about. It scared me so much and I didn’t know what to do. I started to get urges to KILL my gf. I didn’t know what to do so I left the room and crawled up in a ball, crying to god asking for help.These thoughts went away but were quickly replaced by, “You want to kill your gf because you’re just gay”. This sent me into such great panic, I couldn’t eat for days and couldn’t feel anything but anxiety. Days went by and I finally went to a doctor, at first I started to feel better as If I was getting help and things were going to be okay. The thoughts went away again as I began to start doing more things and get out of my room (head). I felt like I was back again, I was able to love my gf, I started to go to church, I felt that god was real and than boom. Here I am again and this time things have gotten really bad. I can’t stop “checking”. As soon as I wake up I check if my gf is “good” enough for me. I check my past and see if I have ever done anything that show signs of being gay. I check out other girls and guys to see whether or not I like one or the other. Even when I accepted the possibility that maybe I am just gay, my mind will fight me and tell me that I’m more than just gay. Truth is, I don’t know anymore. I’ve always loved girls and my gf. I don’t know if this is OCD anymore but I wish for my old life again. I’ve always been so proud of my sexuality and loved everything about it. I never been homophobic but gay stuff does make me uncomfortable. Each day feels like I lost another part of me. I feel like I can’t live like this anymore. I lost all my belief in god, my morals and value feel so weak, and my life is no longer a fun enjoyable thing to look forward to. I need help.
- Date posted
- 20w
I tried checking if I like gay stuff and it’s genuinely disgusting to me. I can tell whether or not a man is attractive and when they are it does scare me and makes me question myself yet, it’s always the same response, I don’t get how you can do that with another man. Doing anything sexual just feels so gross and wrong. I don’t think that I am magically turning gay. I don’t think my orientation is changing or hasn’t been explored. I simply find that stuff gross. I have never had anything wrong with gay people and I am a true believer that people have choices they can make with free will so it’s not that I’m homophobic, just keep that stuff away from me lol. Saying so, I don’t get why I am getting these thoughts. These images in my head, constant need of checking if I fall in the spectrum, constant checking whether I like someone of any gender, constant checking whether or not I am getting groinal responses. No matter what answer I get, my mind still wants an answer, an answer to the next question that it’ll create after answering the one before it. I have always liked girls and always been so proud of it, I am in a relationship right now with a beautiful girl I’ve had a crush on since 2nd grade. (I am 19) Whatever mental illness I have has ruined our relationship. Everything feels forced on my side, I don’t remember the joy I had before this but I have glimpse throughout the days of the things we’ve done together that makes me happy and look forward to life. I am constantly checking to see if my attraction is still there for her and the scary part is, when I am stuck in my head, I am not but, to alter that, when I get that freedom and feel like my normal self, I get a hyper amount of love for her and it feels so nice. These thoughts all began after me and my girlfriend had an argument, 5 months ago we got in an argument over her not giving me enough space. She always wanted to be a part of a plan with my male friends. I never minded her when it was just us two so it’s not that I hated being with her, it was just that I had no time to be independent. ( I also had no job and nothing going for myself. ) One odd day after spending so much time stuck in the house due to weather, I had random thought on whether or not I truly loved her. We were only 4 months into the relationship so I didn’t have an answer and since it felt like I needed an answer, it became obsessive, I couldn’t stop checking. After hours with that thought, I started to wonder whether or not I was interested in other things like K I D S. This thought was an automatic no and I began to fight it. I wasn’t going to accept that, each day felt like a living hell. The questions would change each day, do I miss my ex, was my ex better, do I like my M O M, do I want to K I L L so and so, do I want to kill myself. One day I woke up and had it all in control, felt like magic, after I watched a video on ROCD and realized, oh, I am not the only one but, this is where my compulsions got even worse. I couldn’t stop checking the internet, seeing if I relate to others, watching more videos. I regret this everyday because this compulsion created so many new thoughts and questions for me to answer. About 2-3 weeks went by and a thought passed by that has been stuck with me since along with other thoughts. I thought back to what I did as kid and in the past. I remembered a traumatic event where my brother touched me (5yr old M) inappropriately. This made me question whether or not I liked it and I couldn’t find an answer, couple years (10yr old M) after that I unfortunately did the same to my cousin (8yr old M). I feel so much shame and guilt for it. My mind turned black and white, “Maybe this isn’t a do you like your girl or not but instead, maybe you just like boys I mean, you obviously never asked yourself if you like what you did so”. This question was terrifying for me because it meant that I could no longer love my girl, my whole life till now has been a lie. So I began to question everything in my past up to date to find an answer. No matter what answer I fed my mind, it would not be satisfied and simply create more questions. It felt like my mind was forcing me to be gay, whether or not I liked it. 4 months has passed and the questions have just gotten worse, something I was initially so afraid of. I am in constant fight or flight mode, I am always anxious and I can’t feel nothing. I get times of relief when I am reminded of my past, when my gf turns me on, or when I find an answer to question my mind conjured up. I started to go to church but it’s always been a struggle for me to believe. I can’t go to the gym anymore because everywhere I look I am questioning myself. My porn addiction has went away but mostly because I can’t find anything attractive anymore. I can only find comfort and discomfort. Something that was once so easy for me would 1 day be nonexistent and hard to live without. I don’t know what the truth is anymore. My life feels like a made-up lie. Though I have always loved women, fantasized about them, get extremely nervous around them, pray for them, romanticize them, etc. I now have no idea what it feels like to be in love, interested, or even happy for a woman. My attraction hasn’t vanished completely, I still can look a girl and be stunned, l simply just can’t destroy the feeling it gives me. I get so anxious and begin to question everything about the women, the feeling, myself. I am having a crisis.
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