Anyone with their bf just say are u sure hes the one? Like deep down i know. But my brain keepa saying have you seen enough men? Its like i dont want to

Yes. I hate thoose deep and strong beliefs. "The one." Have you ever think about how the one will make you feel instead of if your bf is the one? Because for me was a game changer! I realised how high and impossible were standards I used to put for men... like the one will ALWAYS make me feels great and happy. (How that can be even possible, every human beings have bad moments, how could he not have them, and also makes me feeling good in mine???). Or with the one I will never fight. (Impossible and unrealistic.) With the one, I will always feel the sparkle (reality isn't that, sparkles comes and goes) And I can go on and on!! Thoose are all standards that are unrealistic and impossible. And thoose are the standards that fed my rocd for months! My bf couldn't keep always with thoose impossibile standars (what a news); so I question myself if he is the one! An example. For some reason, I feel angry with my bf. My mind will tell me: with the one you should always be happy, so he is not the one. You should take distance and broke up with him. But in my heart I want to stay, so hey! Loads of anxiety and depression!

I'm sorry you have to experience that... the key is not answering. And not taking decision while flaring up! I'll tell you this! Let's picture an hypothetical situation. You have a doubt right, let's say it's "do I love him enough?" You start to search for answer. Maby you check your feelings at the idea of him, you only feel anxious so you take this as a no. But then you remember how great was when you did something in past, so maybe yes, you love him. But again, you don't miss him at the moment, so ... nope! Than you would be sad; and you can't be sad for someone that isn't important for you, so yes you love him enough again!! See? For every option, you can find proofs. And you have too find proof for having an answer! So you will find an answer, but then you have to prove that this answer is true, by finding proof. But because there are proof for every option, you couldn't never be sure about an answer!! Even if you are, let's say the answer is "yess I love him enough, because I enjoy spending time with him" than more question will follow your answer !! "Do I really enjoy time with him?" "Is someone out there more enjoyable! And so on and on!! +THERE AREN'T ANSWERS FOR THOOSE QUESTIONS. "Does he really want me?" "Do I really want him?" "Will be happy together?" Etc... only future can answer!!! The only way to get out of this is to break the circle! To not answer, to accept that he could or couldn't be the one!

I'm 20! Hey. It's hard I know. But it is like that for now, things can get easier with effort; therapy, erp; cbd ... there are a lot opportunities to improve! You seem strong! I know you got this!! Hope thing will be better for you, for us!!