Does like spiritual healing and healing your inner wounds trigger anyone else? I feel like those terms latch onto “living your authentic self” “living your truth” and that triggers my SOOCD so bad!!

I love that analogy!! I know when I was dating and flirting with men it made me so so happy. I have to try so hard to keep this as hope because everything else feels like proof and denial.

@OCD33 Me too, I feel the same !! We’ll get through this

@Anonymous Have you done ERP? Are you on medication?

@OCD33 I haven’t done ERP yet but I’m starting in January, I think that’s what’s making me feel especially anxious lately because I’m nervous about it…looking into medication now as well

@Anonymous Awh yay!! I’m so happy you are taking the right steps. I am on Prozac and I’m in ERP therapy now but it scares me so I always fall back into compulsions 😞

@OCD33 You’ll get there!! I have faith in you 😊 you’re brave for facing this fear just know that

@Anonymous Thank you!!! I appreciate the support. Do you ever feel like this is denial?

@OCD33 I do, but when I say it out loud I realize how ridiculous I sound..it’s really when I ruminate and over analyze that I feel like it’s denial, I won’t say it doesn’t feel real, but I think it’s because we’re ruminating

@Anonymous Omg the ruminating is what literally destroys me !! I can’t stop doing it Idk what to do

@Anonymous The ruminating is the worst!!!! I feel like these thoughts are here 24/7 no matter what I’m doing

@cc97 It takes me out of happy situations and makes me not present and it’s so painful..again for that reason it feels like it’s something my ocd brain wants me to do so I feel pain, it’s not something that will lead me to happiness..and for that reason I’d like to stop and learn how to be better. My main motivation is to stop doubting myself, that’s the true issue here in my opinionb

@Anonymous Yes, the doubting and dealing With uncertainty is the major issue

@Anonymous But I ruminate like 24/7 and it is so miserable and I always think I’m gonna find a the answer but never do

@cc97 Trust me, I’ve been dealing with that non stop lately. It’s so hard to figure out reality but when I find myself present, that’s when I’m like woah, I’m so much happier right now than when I’m ruminating…hard to still control but it’s nice to get those moments of clarity

@Anonymous Yes I agree.

@Anonymous Did you girls struggle with intimacy?

@OCD33 Yes

@cc97 I do sometimes yes, it’s usually when my libido fluctuates throughout the month because ya know, we’re women…but instead of accepting that hey my libido fluctuates, I decide to judge myself and think I’m abnormal..

@Anonymous I believe mine stems from trauma and low self esteem

@Anonymous I’m not crazy about sex which my ocd takes as more proof. I enjoy like the cuddling, holding hands, kisses. I’m not the type who has to have it which makes it sound like more denial 😞

@OCD33 Me too!!! Don’t worry I feel the same! I love the emotional connection I have with my boyfriend and I love just feeling him near, but I don’t care as much about sex honestly..and for what it’s worth I know a lot of women in relationships who have been feeling the same way lately, so it’s not just us

@Anonymous Ugh!! I’m not alone!!!! My mom and I talk about this a lot too and she’s like a lot of women aren’t crazy about it, they like the romantics and emotional aspect. But with ocd my mind is like well maybe you’d like it with a women 🥴🥴 but I never want to be with a women or date one!!!

@OCD33 I’m the same!! Haha I’m sorry this isn’t funny but it’s just interesting how similar we are ..must be OCD!

@Anonymous I’m sure it’s obvious how much we analyze hahaha but it does feel so real lol. I tell myself it wouldn’t be this hard or feel this bad if it wasn’t ocd.

@OCD33 It definitely does and we shouldn’t invalidate that, but I think we can overcome it ❤️

@Anonymous I agree!!! We got this! Thank you for the positivity!! It helps to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

@OCD33 It helps so much for me too, you have no idea how good it feels to know I’m not alone, even if it doesn’t solve everything

@OCD33 Omg I’m the same way too!! I feel better knowing I’m not alone In This

That’s how I feel 😭😭 I’m so sorry you are going through this too.

@OCD33 Hopefully we can get though this!!

@cc97 How old are you?

@OCD33 24 hbu

@cc97 27 :( and I have had these thoughts since I was a kid which feels like so much proof and denial

@OCD33 I feel the same way:/ it is really hard to deal with the uncertainty and I can’t stop ruminating. Also, on Tik tok I always see about healing your inner child (which I know I need too) but then the person almost always says something along the lines or living your true self and then I freak out and think that’s a sign I’m in denial. Do you feel like that,

@cc97 I relate 100% . Living your true self or being authentic really triggers me and just makes me think I’m in denial. I also have never been “turned on” just by looking at a man which is even more proof 😭😭 I don’t want to be in a relationship with a women

@OCD33 I feel the same exact way!!

@cc97 I also have found all of this proof from my childhood…. I had my barbies/ sims kiss 😭😭 I also had these thoughts as a kid so it must be true 😭🥴

@OCD33 Hey! We’ve spoken before, I’m 25 had this since I think 12…I know this probably doesn’t help and maybe reassurance seeking, but I’ve spoken to my therapist a lot about these thoughts (I’ve had all of the above) and she’s told me that it’s completely normal for kids to do these types of things because it’s just what kids do, I don’t think it’s any “proof” honestly

@Anonymous Also if it’s any consolation, every time I read these posts I’m like woah you guys are in my head with me…and then it makes me think like if we all have these fears then it’s really just the OCD talking and not our authentic selves, I think we all just have a lot of self doubt manifested in these OCD thoughts, especially because this is part of our identity we hold dear

@Anonymous Thank you so much for taking the time to write. My therapist has said kids just do a bunch of weird things but I know I liked looking at “erotic” movie covers or things that were taboo. This just feels all too real and not like ocd.

@Anonymous It helps to know I’m not alone. I have always been crazy about boys and wanting to be married to a man. I think the arousal to sexual content of women really keeps me stuck 😭

@OCD33 Yeah I know the feeling of questioning past the explanation your therapist gives you, I do that all the time…I definitely don’t want to invalidate your thoughts, I wish it could just be like flipping a light switch and turning off all these analyzing thoughts, I know it’s really hard 😔

@OCD33 And yes this also gets me stuck…I wish I could just take the explanation that people are aroused by sexual content and it doesn’t have to be tied to your sexuality…but unfortunately my brain doesn’t let me stop there

@Anonymous Thank you so much!!

@Anonymous We weren’t taught that as kids or even into my adulthood. I legit thought because I was turned on by something that must mean I’m a lesbian 😞

@OCD33 I’ve thought the same exact thing!! And it was awakening when I finally opened up to my therapist and she was like…dude that’s normal it doesn’t say anything about you…but then of course I have to go over analyze. I hope we can do some erp and get into some real recovery here…maybe today we can just focus on the present or a future that makes us happy and not question it, sometimes that helps me

@Anonymous An OCD brain can’t just let that go though unfortunately 🙁 I agree!!! My fiancé has covid so of course ocd is having a field day with all of this time off!! I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you for being so kind and helping me.

@OCD33 Oh I hope he’s doing alright! My boyfriend is away with his family so that’s made it tough for me as well. I hope you have a nice day and I wish moments of clarity for you ❤️