merry christmas everyone <3 if anyone has any questions to ask me (who recovered from sexual orientation ocd and has been for two months now!), ask away !!

I did ERP to recover from OCD. Uncertainty, at the beginning, was really scary for me. I dealt with it by mindfulness (relaxing myself with breathing exercises), making tea to calm myself down, and other forms of self-care. however, the best thing you can do is to understand that uncertainty gets you to recovery. after truly understanding that, i felt more excited to accept it because i knew it would get me to recovery. here’s a reddit post that has some recs for rumination stopping: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/ak381a/rumination_the_most_destructive_compulsion_for/

My OCD was so severe that there was no doubt that it wasn’t OCD, for me personally. I’ve only had to deal with that a little bit, but it would go away as quickly as it came :)

My sexual orientation OCD felt real, irrational, then more real when it became more severe. It felt more real at the beginning, because I didn’t know that OCD wasn’t about cleaning or organizing. When it became moderate, it was so ridiculous that it was very irrational, but I still had fear, of course. When it became severe, it was the most real I’ve ever felt and it absolutely destroyed me.

@ingrid ✨ When it felt really real, did it feel like it could be rational?

@BradOCD i’d say so, yes, but nothing is ever rational with OCD.

@ingrid ✨ Idk why that triggered me so much. Because at the moment it feels rational so now it can’t be ocd

@BradOCD OCD has nothing to do with being inherently rational. All it means is that it has obsessions and compulsions.

@ingrid ✨ Sorry I don’t really understand? I’m trying to though and thank you for helping

@BradOCD Don’t worry!! Okay so, OCD isn’t logical. It’s not logical to obsess for hours at end. However, you feel it’s logical. That’s what i’m trying to say. OCD feels rational to you, but it’s irrational in itself. Does this help?

yes, it absolutely did. that’s why i got a lot of anxiety, of course!

And see what I might I don’t wanna be chill with that I feel like screaming I’ve never felt chill with that before I’m not bisexual and I don’t know if I’m reacting to boobs down there because I can’t quite figure out what I’m imagining and I’m scared I have to tell myself not to and I don’t want to react to boobs I don’t wanna be OK I’m not bisexual I keep saying I can’t help it but I never react to boobs when I actually see anything I hope it’s pectorals and I can’t tell

@Bookworm91 I absolutely obsessed over body parts, and it was one of the major parts of my OCD. What I did for ERP is writing a list on why the obsessed body part is better, and accepted the anxiety until it didn’t bother me anymore.

Hey! There’s two answers for this. It feels great. I have so much extra time now, so I’ve been learning French and helping others with this disorder. I am the strongest I’ve ever been. I am living now, not surviving. I can carry a conversation for hours now without shutting off. On a different side, I mourn the loss of time. I am fifteen. I spent two years of my childhood obsessing, and it is essentially lost. I have (basically traumatic) memories that occurred because of my OCD that give me nightmares, because of how desperate I was to get out of the loophole. I cry when I see the OCD statistics, and I had to change my room, and my devices, so they don’t remind me of that awful time. I’m sorry if this sounds super dark! It is ten million times better than OCD, and the flashbacks of worse times happen very rarely. It is so worth it !!

@ingrid ✨ Bestie? 🥺🥺🥺 I’m also fifteen!!! :D I only spent a year obsessing though, so I’m a bit better off than you. No, but I totally understand. There are certain things I have to avoid because it reminds me of my darkest days. I’ve been about three weeks better, with only a few setbacks, and I can totally relate to the free time thing! I’m going to learn how to play the trumpet, so it’s neat to be able to have so much time!!! Damn, can’t believe I found someone I can do closely relate to on here :D

@OCDumb >:( just followed you bff, i’m glad our experiences are similar !! I’m so glad you’re doing better- and three weeks? wow, that’s truly impressive, i’ll be looking forward to your recovery, i’m sure it’s not far from now :) also can I mention how I LOVE how positive you are? that’s such a great mindset to be in and it brings smile to my face <3

@ingrid ✨ Hehe, thank you! Hope you continue to stay with a healthy mindset too! And thank you, I try to be positive :) I’m starting a mental health club at my school after winter break, so hopefully positivity helps! (Ps followed back :D(

@OCDumb >:( oh woah that’s really cool, i know i’d look up to you if we were in the same school :D wishing you luck bff !!

@ingrid ✨ Hey, Ingrid. I was wondering, how old were you when the hocd began?

@lennygirl I call it SO-OCD, because my sexuality wasn’t the fear of being gay - it was the fear of not being a lesbian. I was thirteen.

@ingrid ✨ I’m so sorry! I should have used the correct term. I apologize!

@ingrid ✨ I was 12 when my SOOCD started, but I fear being gay. I guess I was honestly just trying to get reassurance from you, because I stress about my SOOCD starting so young, thinking because most people realize they’re gay at 12 that I probably just realized I was gay instead of having ocd.

@lennygirl I relate to this. It feels like that what’s happened and I just built myself a wall of straightness. Even tho I do find women attractive very naturally it feels like I now am just in complete belief that I’m gay. And I hate it, but for some reason it’s made me slightly calmer so idk what to do can anyone relate. Oh god it feels like it’s the truth now.

@lennygirl it’s okay, don’t worry- and OCD isn’t logical, and doesn’t follow logic. I had OCD at such a young age, but it would have been just as traumatizing if I got it in my 30’s :)

absolutely.

@ingrid ✨ Then how did you realize your fear was irrational? Not real?

@ocdman I didn’t? That’s not the goal of ERP. I exposed myself to it so much that when I got groinal responses before I recovered, I had no anxiety. It didn’t effect or worry me.

@ingrid ✨ But you said your fear of being a different sexuality is not logical if you get groinal responses a lot of people would just say that’s a reasonable fear?

@ingrid ✨ Why not

@ocdman now if i get a groinal response, i’m like “oh okay. that’s weird” and i move on. that is a logical reaction. it’s not a logical fear to obsess to it to an OCD-like degree.

I identify as unlabeled, but i suppose you could call me bisexual, yes, because I identified as such for exposure therapy and it doesn’t matter enough to me to correct everyone after recovery.

@ingrid ✨ To be honest, this is a little triggering. This is sort of proof that you can be the thing you fear.

@lennygirl I could very well use the label I did before I had OCD. It suits me just as well. However, as one final “fuck you” to OCD, I keep my unlabeled label. Just as a final act of defiance.