Anonymous help
- Date posted
- 3y
Jerica WardJerica Ward
- Date posted
- 3y
I am the same way. I love my bf very much but there is always this... doubt. This uncertainty. This 'what if he's not the one?' 'what if we aren't really compatible?' 'what if-' and it all goes on. Don't even get me started about the moments I worry about our interests differing. But all I know is that I don't want us to end and I have to remind myself that these thoughts are just thoughts. On top of that, I've realized that I've been holding unrealistically high standards for interpersonal relationships my whole life, both friendship and especially romantic. With friendships, it was easy to be like 'well... I don't expect this to last' but I realize now that I've probably never quite had a good attachment formed with my friends and maybe I've only had a good one with a few. I'm just now realizing that there's a good chance that part of it also has something to do with the way I've formed attachments to people. I would always have second thoughts about people for having differing opinions or interests and those would be in the shadows even if we still got along great as friends! However, the moment a fight or conflict would come up, I would sit here and think maybe we'd be over as friends and it would hurt but I would be like 'well... this is exactly what I was afraid of so maybe we just weren't meant to be friends.' I lost sight of the fact that every interpersonal relationship with friends, family, and romantic partners will have it's tough times and moments of conflict. But with a romantic relationship, I kinda want it to last but I've held it on such a high unrealistic standard that the uncertainty of it hit me like a train and suddenly I find myself crying on my bed in the fetal position as all of the thoughts of uncertainty consumed me. I realize now that I need to just get better about how I form connections in general, accept that yeah, uncertainty is apart of being in a relationship and it'll never go away but it has gotten easier in time. All in all, I just want me and my boyfriend to make it and I want us both to be okay.
Anonymous helpAnonymous help
- Date posted
- 3y
I want me and mine to be ok as well. I have a good feeling we will be togethee forever cause it sounds right and definitely feels right. He makes me so happy. Sure i get these doubts and invisions of other people but i still always go back to him. The rocd makes you doubt everything and makes you think outside of the box to make you think its not rocds fault its yours.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Literally same with me . He is everything I could ever want. But I feel constant discomfort, doubting, anxiety . Wish it would stop
Anonymous helpAnonymous help
- Date posted
- 3y
R u getting the doubt that u actually dont want to. But u really do
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 20w
Can someone help
My rocd is spiraling so bad i feel like I’m terrible and can’t recover 😓 idk wuts real anymore yet ik i never wanna leave my man😓whats wrong w me
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 6w
i need help, i dont know what is happening
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 6w
please read- rocd… or is it? im in agony
Hi. I wanted to stop posting here, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m feeling so lost. I’m in a relationship that, from the outside, looks wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years. He loves me deeply. He’s kind and caring. And still… I can’t feel anything. I can’t imagine a future with him — living together, starting a family, growing old. When I try, it feels like something in me shuts down, like it’s wrong. I don’t feel happiness in the relationship. I don’t feel love, warmth, or comfort. I feel anxiety, numbness, guilt, and fear. We fight over the smallest things. My thoughts scream that I don’t love him, that I’m forcing this, that I’m just used to him. The scariest part is: sometimes I feel okay, even calm. And that’s when it hits me — “What if this calm means I’ve accepted the truth? What if I don’t love him?” It feels like I’m in shock. Like I’m finally seeing clearly… but I’m terrified that it’s a clarity I never wanted. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I just know that I’m exhausted. And I want peace. If anyone else has felt this — the numbness, the fear, the doubt that feels like the truth — please tell me how you’ve gotten through it. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this. i know that people reading this will tell me to leave. but i dont have any reasons. All the problems started because of my never ending thoughts. i feel like i ruin everything. i feel like i have changed. im so lost and scared. i dont understand what is happening. It feels so real. im in agony, im crying so much. I wasnt always like this. i am trying to remember times i felt better and i cant. i cant feel anything. its so hard. i can’t explain how i feel and in scared what are you going to respond if someone will. i usually see “if you feel so bad then leave” but its not like that. he loves me so much and if the thoughts werent there it would gave been so different. everything was perfect. but i keep thinking that when the thoughts started, one and a half years ago, i realised that “i just dont like him” and gbat i couldn’t accept the truth and i am denying it. i feel fake. do i even have rocd? or is this cope?? why do i feel like this. why does it feel so real? please somebody help me
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