- Username
- Anonymous help
- Date posted
- 823d ago
- Relationship OCD
Literally same with me . He is everything I could ever want. But I feel constant discomfort, doubting, anxiety . Wish it would stop
R u getting the doubt that u actually dont want to. But u really do
I am the same way. I love my bf very much but there is always this... doubt. This uncertainty. This 'what if he's not the one?' 'what if we aren't really compatible?' 'what if-' and it all goes on. Don't even get me started about the moments I worry about our interests differing. But all I know is that I don't want us to end and I have to remind myself that these thoughts are just thoughts. On top of that, I've realized that I've been holding unrealistically high standards for interpersonal relationships my whole life, both friendship and especially romantic. With friendships, it was easy to be like 'well... I don't expect this to last' but I realize now that I've probably never quite had a good attachment formed with my friends and maybe I've only had a good one with a few. I'm just now realizing that there's a good chance that part of it also has something to do with the way I've formed attachments to people. I would always have second thoughts about people for having differing opinions or interests and those would be in the shadows even if we still got along great as friends! However, the moment a fight or conflict would come up, I would sit here and think maybe we'd be over as friends and it would hurt but I would be like 'well... this is exactly what I was afraid of so maybe we just weren't meant to be friends.' I lost sight of the fact that every interpersonal relationship with friends, family, and romantic partners will have it's tough times and moments of conflict. But with a romantic relationship, I kinda want it to last but I've held it on such a high unrealistic standard that the uncertainty of it hit me like a train and suddenly I find myself crying on my bed in the fetal position as all of the thoughts of uncertainty consumed me. I realize now that I need to just get better about how I form connections in general, accept that yeah, uncertainty is apart of being in a relationship and it'll never go away but it has gotten easier in time. All in all, I just want me and my boyfriend to make it and I want us both to be okay.
I want me and mine to be ok as well. I have a good feeling we will be togethee forever cause it sounds right and definitely feels right. He makes me so happy. Sure i get these doubts and invisions of other people but i still always go back to him. The rocd makes you doubt everything and makes you think outside of the box to make you think its not rocds fault its yours.